Why I won’t marry the father of my child —Toyin Alausa

You are very popular in the movie industry as an actress and as a lady who catches the attention of men. How have you been coping with the attention?

It is a natural thing to get attention from men, either as an actress or as a single lady. I don’t let it get to my head. I always try to be as friendly as possible to those that are bold enough to approach me. Some people have formed the opinion that I’m difficult to relate with but those that come close eventually realise that I’m easygoing and fun to be with. I accept friendship from people who are decent and who are going to respect me. If you approach me in a disrespectful way, I simply decline. I don’t feel any pressure to be associated with any man.

How hard has it been managing fame and keeping your head down?

In keeping my name intact, I thank God because no one is a saint. I trust my conscience and I don’t try to overdo things in which a scandal may arise. I stay away from trouble and negativity. These have helped me to keep my name intact. I’m of the opinion that irrespective of who or where you are, stay true to yourself. That’s what I’ve managed to do all these years. I manage fame quite well. Every day I step out of my home, I meet fans at malls, parties, among others. I’ve been able to leave a lasting impression on them. I don’t behave as if I’m special or a celebrity when I’m off the screen. I know I only have the opportunity to be an actress, so I don’t act like a demigod. Staying humble has helped me to manage fame.

You have been in the industry for a while but it seems you are only getting much attention now. Why did it take a long time for you to be noticed?

When I tell people that I’ve been in the industry for 20 years if not more, they find it hard to believe me but as soon as I tell them the people I’ve worked with and my experience, they keep quiet. For some years, I took a break from acting solely out of frustration when the jobs were not coming as they should. I went into catering business. At that time, I did soap operas, one was Chukwu Ejiro’s Treasure where I was a major character. Others were Super Story, This Life, and a couple of English movies including Beautiful Faces where I starred alongside Stephanie Okereke, Ini Edo, Oge Okoye, among others. At that time, it was as if the competition was so fierce that I was getting overlooked. After a two-year break, I had to start all over again. I got minor roles, sub-leads till I moved into the Yoruba industry. Omotara Johnson was my first job and that gave me a huge break. Since then, the story has been different.

Are you bothered about the misconceptions about your personality?

At times, it happens that people have some misconceptions about me. When such happens, I always say that I hope this person has another opportunity to correct the impression because I am human. A person could have encountered me on a bad day and I would have appeared a snob and a difficult person. Although I could play a tough-looking character or seem uptight, I am fun and lively. I try not to let these character prejudice get to me. I stay true to myself at all times and doing things that make me happy.

What do you think has worked for you till this moment?

Another thing I believe in life is that when the time is right, everything becomes beautiful. I tell younger people around me that when you look at people like Iya Awero, Iya Rainbow, you see that the job does not have an expiry date. You are as good as your last job. Just keep doing it whether you’ve made the break or not as long as the jobs are coming and you’re doing it right. Someone I admire so much is Funke Akindele. She had been in the industry for years till she did Jenifa. Jenifa was the bomb and a turning point in her career. Today, Jenifa is a household name and a brand. So, you don’t know which job or role that will eventually bring you into the A-list circle. I would then say that I have not got to the pinnacle of my career. I thank God for my career now and the people who have entrusted me with various roles knowing that I would deliver.

What about your colleagues in the industry and how you relate with them? What do you make of the fake love that seems to be the order of the day?

Something that has worked for me is that I leave every location I go to in peace. Even when I’m pushed to the wall or have issues unresolved, I try very hard to leave an open avenue for repair. I don’t burn the bridge completely. When I was feeling sidelined in the industry, I spoke with one of the stakeholders concerning it and the feedback he gave me was that my fee was high. If my fee was high and they know my quality, they want me to come with my costumes and play a major role and they don’t want to pay. He suggested that I should make a compromise. The call was worth it because I got projects consistently. The pay isn’t too good but consistency they say is the trademark of success. The fact that I am consistent will also help my brand.

Does it bother you that actors in Yoruba movie industry are poorly paid?

The reason most of us stick our necks instead of quitting is because of the passion we have for what we do. I have tried my hands in a lot of things but acting is my thing. It is what I’ve been doing since I was a kid. I can’t do office work. This is where I want to grow old. The fees may not be encouraging especially because of the market factor, I think things will get better with time. With time, we’ll also break into the international market because we are still testing the waters. The meagre budget affects the actors and actresses as a N500,000 budget won’t satisfy them not to mention the cast and the crew. We end up begging ourselves to act. Though it hurts as we all need to put food on our table and earn something, half a loaf is always better than none. What we do is that we gather income and start up a business on one side while we act. A certain time would come that one would reject certain fees.

Rising to the top is one thing, staying relevant is another. What is your take on actresses and actors that fail to maintain their celebrity status for long?

Failing to maintain their celebrity status? I don’t know what I can attribute that to. What I can say is that if you start with a foundation of lies, it will surely crumble like a pack of cards. It is good to be true to yourself, to your fans. Don’t be black and say you are white. Those who would love you would love you, those who would hate you would do. They might love you later when they notice that you have improved and stayed consistent. Those that fell short of their celebrity status must have done something wrong somewhere. It is okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from your mistakes. We have a lot of people who were in the limelight years ago and they are no more there. Some have even left the industry and relocated. Marriage, child-bearing, family commitments are also factors which contribute to decline in celebrity status.

What do you fear most about being an actress?

My greatest fear as an actress is scandal. Another is not to be able to fit into a role. As an actress, I want to be successful in all characters, I don’t want to ever be confronted with a role I can’t perform.

Why do you think actors and actresses don’t seem to like themselves?

Fake love is everywhere. Like I said, you can’t be friends with everybody. For some reasons, you and some people won’t just connect. You can’t fake your emotions. I am not going to pretend friendship with anybody.  There are people that I call friends in the industry, yet we don’t know each ourselves well even though we have known ourselves for years. I don’t meddle into people’s affairs in the name of friendship and I don’t expect the same. When I meet with my contemporaries on set, I relate well with them, we give one another mutual respect. When it is time for parties, I attend if I’m available. I won’t force myself on anybody.

But why don’t you love one another?

Why I think they don’t love one other genuinely is because of competition, because of envy. You wish you were on this person’s level, but you would not be able to walk in the person’s shoes. So, why the envy? It is good to aspire, to pray to be like somebody. However, when envy sets in, that is toxic and one reason that I feel makes the love superficial. At times, gossip affects relationships among people. Everybody talks about one another, it is normal but when it is derogatory, I would never support it.

Who is your kind of man?

My kind of man in the industry? I like the clean, hardworking ones. I appreciate those who are mature and have been able to stay on top of their game.

When are you settling down?

I haven’t thought of it yet if I’d marry an actor but I’m not against it. Honestly, I haven’t given it a thought and I haven’t involved myself with any actor that we will discuss marriage. If an actor will give me peace and love, I’m not against it.

Would you marry the father of your child?

I can’t marry my kid’s father. That was a long time ago and in the past. He would not even try to ask my hand in marriage because he knows I will not marry him.