Why children cry, throw less tantrums when mothers are sensitive to their clues —Experts

Being upset or showing anger is one of our most basic emotions. The truth is that children face many pressures that are of major importance to them, pressures that we have long forgotten. The increasing hours of school and decreasing emphasis on playtime deprive children of the healthy emotional outlets that once let that pressure escape.

Now, experts warn that children who are more anger-prone or lower on temperamental pleasure may benefit more from caregivers’ or parents’ sensitivity to their emotional needs and behavioural clues to build confidence, foster interpersonal connections and weather the effects of stress.

In a new study, researchers found that momentary increase in mothers’ sensitivity to their toddlers’ clues and emotional needs it may also boost young children’s focuses attention on tasks and positive engagement with their mother while lowering the children’s expressions of negative emotions.

They observed 64 pairs of mothers and their toddlers who ranged in ages from 18 months to just over 3 years, while they played with toys, read a picture book and shared a snack. In one situation, the child was approached by a mechanical toy dog that barked unpredictably; in another scenario, the child tried to retrieve a toy from a locked transparent box using a key that didn’t work.

The researchers tracked each mother’s responsiveness to their child across the various tasks, calculated her average level of responsiveness and examined how momentary fluctuations in it correlated with the child’s behaviour at the same moment. It was in the Journal of Family Psychology.

The mothers, who were seated about 3 feet from their children during the challenging tasks, were told to respond to their child’s behaviour in whatever way that felt natural. Using video recording, independent teams observed and tracked the mothers’ and children’s behaviours and interactions in 60 seconds intervals across all of the tasks for about 50 minutes.

The team observed how quickly and effectively the mothers responded to their childrens signals of distress, such as soothing them when they cried. They also noted, for example, whether the mothers responded in supportive, child-centred ways when their child became interested in a toy if she encourage the child’s exploration of the toy or introduce a new object while the child was still interested in playing with the toy.

Another team of observers tracked the children’s behaviour, including their sustained interest in the various tasks and their positive engagement with their mothers. They noted things, such as showing her toys, asking for help or responding when she initiated play. The children’s expressions of positive and negative emotions such as smiling, laughing, crying or whining were also recorded.

Mothers and fathers completed portions of a child temperament questionnaire that measured the child’s tendencies to show anger or frustration when his or her goals were blocked, as well as their expressions of pleasure and positive emotions during everyday routines such as bathing, bedtime or play.

“What we’ve been able to identify is that a lot of children who grow up with anger issues are linked to maternal insensitivity. In everyday interactions, caregivers are not too sensitive to the emotional and behavioural needs of children,” said Dr Haleem Abdulrahman, a consultant psychiatrist, University College Hospital (UCH), Ibadan.

According to him, “when parents are not sensitive to the needs of children; when parents don’t address the needs of children on time, what happens is that the children develop automatic ways of expressing their needs in a louder form.

“And the way they express their emotion in a louder form is through anger because children might not have understood how to normally communicate. The primary attachment is not formed and the parent is sensitive even if the child is trying to communicate. So children that grow up in such an environment would develop these outburst method of expressing themselves as they grow older, and that would manifest as anger control problems.”

Dr Abdulharam said parents could learn to understand the emotional and behavioural clues of their children right from when they are infants by spending more time with them.

“Even when they are less than a year old, parents can ensure that they have time to interact and make facial eye contact with their children. You know, even in the process of giving birth, breastfeeding, nurturing, bathing the baby, and so on. These are processes that form attachments.

“When there is attachment, communication becomes easier. And so, the child does not have to express himself all the time with anger or crying before the mother knows what’s going on. They will learn to express themselves more confidently; they have the confidence that people will listen to them and they don’t need to shout or be angry or to go into an outburst.”

Dr Abdulharam stated that telltale signs of emotional or behavioural clues in children can change with age, and while children less than one year would express them by crying, those from age one to three may do so by having temper tantrums.

However, he added that a temper tantrum that persists after the age of three may sometimes suggest that a good attachment had not been well-formed with the parent when they were growing up or that something went wrong during the early developmental period in a child even though emotional support was provided by the parent.

According to Dr Abdulharam, “there are some conditions that, no matter the amount of emotional support you provide, such children may still have temper tantrums, particularly children with an autism spectrum disorder or some amount of intellectual disability.”

No doubt, all children have the tendency to show anger or frustration when their goals are blocked, even during everyday routines, such as bathing, bedtime or play. But having a positive disposition buffers children from mild stressors such as dips in parental sensitivity and may help them to cope with frustration and to actively explore the world around them.

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