When stealing isn’t about greed: Understanding kleptomania

Have you ever heard of someone who keeps taking things they don’t really need, not because they’re poor, not because they’re plotting to sell them, but because something inside feels impossible to resist? This is what kleptomania looks like. It’s one of the lesser-known impulse-control disorders described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), a real, recognised mental health condition where a person feels an overwhelming urge to steal things they often have no use for. It’s not about being a criminal; it’s about the mind and emotions caught in a cycle of tension, relief, and regret that can be deeply misunderstood.

Imagine a woman who walks into a shop, picks up a small item maybe a bar of soap or a pen and slips it into her bag. She doesn’t need it. She can afford it. But as she walks out, her heart races, her hands tremble, and for a moment, a strange sense of relief washes over her. Then comes the guilt, the confusion about why she did it again. She’s not proud. In fact, she hates this part of herself. She tries to promise she’ll stop, but the urge returns, stronger each time.

This is kleptomania: an impulse-control disorder where the stealing isn’t driven by anger, revenge, poverty, or personal gain but by an uncontrollable tension that only the act itself can release. According to the DSM-5, kleptomania is marked by repeated failure to resist the impulse to steal objects that are not needed for personal use or their monetary value.

It’s one of those conditions that people often judge harshly, they say, “Why can’t you just stop?” But the truth is, kleptomania is not about willpower. It’s a mental health condition linked to how the brain handles urges and self-control. Many people with kleptomania live with secret shame, hiding their behaviour even from loved ones, afraid of being labelled a thief rather than someone who needs help.

No one fully understands exactly what causes kleptomania, but research points to a mix of factors. Genetics can play a role as it sometimes runs in families. Kleptomania often begins in the teenage years or young adulthood, many people recall their first uncontrollable urge to steal happening around adolescence, but it can start earlier too, sometimes in late childhood, especially if the child already has other mental health struggles like anxiety, depression, or problems with impulse control.

There’s no specific age when kleptomania automatically stops on its own. For some, the urges may lessen as they grow older, but for others, the cycle can continue for many years, even into middle age or later in life, if it isn’t properly addressed. Unlike typical childhood stealing, which often fades as kids learn rules, consequences, and self-control, kleptomania tends to persist because it’s driven by a deeper, compulsive urge that doesn’t simply go away with age but the hopeful part is that people don’t have to wait for it to “wear off.” With the right therapy and support, many people learn to recognise the feelings that trigger the urge and build new ways to cope. This is why early intervention helps but no matter the age, it’s never too late to get help and learn healthier ways to manage those impulses.

People with kleptomania can also live with other mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, substance use disorders, or eating disorders. Stressful life events or trauma can also play a part, either triggering kleptomania for the first time or making the urges harder to control

In the DSM-5, kleptomania falls under Disruptive, Impulse-Control, and Conduct Disorders. This category includes other conditions where people struggle to resist harmful or risky impulses like pyromania (compulsive fire-setting) and intermittent explosive disorder (uncontrollable outbursts of anger). They all tend to follow a similar cycle: a rising sense of tension or anxiety before the act, a feeling of release or pleasure during it, and deep regret or distress afterwards.

Kleptomania is rare, but for those who live with it, the distress is very real. It’s not about wanting to break the law or harm anyone. It’s about an inner battle with an impulse that feels impossible to resist and the heavy guilt that follows.

Sadly, because stealing is illegal and socially unacceptable, many people with kleptomania live with deep shame and secrecy. They may never tell anyone what they’re struggling with, fearing judgement, arrest, or rejection. This secrecy can create a painful cycle: the more ashamed they feel, the more they isolate themselves and the more the urge to steal creeps back in as a way to find relief.

The good news is, kleptomania can be managed. Therapy can help people understand the feelings that come before the urge to steal, and find healthier ways to cope. Sometimes, medication can also help reduce the intensity of those impulses, especially if the person has underlying anxiety or depression. What matters most is creating an environment where the person feels safe to talk about what’s happening inside their mind without harsh judgment or shame.

If you or someone you care about struggles with urges to steal and feels helpless to stop, please remember you’re not alone. Kleptomania is not a moral failure; it’s an impulse control disorder that can be treated with the right support. With patience, therapy, and understanding, people can learn to break the cycle, regain trust, and find relief in healthier ways. And that’s the hope that keeps us talking about these often-hidden mental health struggles  so no one feels they have to face them in secret.

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In wrapping up today’s look at kleptomania, remember that this impulse control disorder is not just about stealing it’s about an overwhelming urge that feels impossible to resist, even when the person knows it’s wrong. With understanding and proper help, people living with kleptomania can learn healthier ways to manage these urges and rebuild trust in themselves.

Next week, we’ll conclude this series as we talk about the subtle signs to watch for, especially in children, so that if kleptomania is developing, it can be addressed early and gently. We’ll also explore how to tell the difference between kleptomania and other types of stealing, explain the simple science behind it, and share more ways people can get treatment or seek help when they need it. Until then, take care of your mind and those around you.