What holds the marriage, love or friendship?

THE belief system held by many tilts to the fact that love is everything in marriage.  This has made many fall for love – that means different things to different individuals. The result of this can be seen in the different love languages that exist in relationships and marriage.  Love matters but can be weakened by ups and downs of life, even when ‘for better, for worse’ is stated thus. This begs for an answer as to what holds the marriage if love can be comprised: Love or Friendship?

On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our experts said on the issue

 

Dunsin Ogunmoyela

Marriage is an institution ordained by God He is a perfect definition of love and that’s what makes any marriage to work and stand the test of time if it’s handed over to him to pilot.  Secondly, you marry your best friend and you have to be in love with such person before taking steps that lead to ‘forever’ with him or her. A partner you can tell your worries; someone that understands your mood and gives instant interpretation which no one out there can’t. Friendship becomes stronger only when there is love in it. It’s crystal clear, only love is stronger and only love holds the friendship you both built for a long time. Yes, it is true, you can love and not be friends in the marriage which is risky.

Marrying your best friend makes the marriage more enjoyable and easier as the rate of constant arguments and disagreement is low. If you love without being friends, don’t be surprised your partner would have a best friend out there that she can confide in and run to for advice .

 

Semilore Olisa

There is no love without friends, no friends without love. In the context of the relationship, technically friendship is also a relationship which could be romantic and not. Creating a relationship with someone starts as friends and gradually grows to the level that you want to keep that person because you love what they do and how they act. So, you keep them because of the love of these things in them and the love keeps the friendship, the friendship then grows to a romantic relationship that understands you want something extra from this ‘friend-ting’ as you want to go beyond. Note that, relationship is based on the friendship but something holds the relationship, which is love. So, it is intertwined, we need the two to stay fit. The love for each other keeps us here, the friendship keeps us going.

 

Godspower Olorunsaanu

Without love, there can’t be friendship, you can’t love your enemy. love metamorphosis into friendship and marrying your friends is the best thing one could ask for, both are important. Before you can be a friend to someone there must be an iota of love between you and the person.

 

Omotola Omotayo

Love and friendship are essential. However, love is not enough and friendship is paramount. It is best you marry your best friend, someone that knows you and tolerated your short comings. This helps the relationship to be free of issues. Intimacy would exist as love would help holds it all together

 

Taiwo Aminat Ajayi

Marriage is a relationship which exists between a man and a woman and are married to each other under the existing laws in the country. The foundation of a marriage is love, trust, friendship and support for each other etc. A marriage without love or friendship between the parties means that there is no relationship between them except that they are just “flatmates” and only living together as a result of their offspring(s) or one reason or the other. It is my humble submission that love and friendship in a marriage works together and it is the foundation of a marriage.

 

Omogbolahan Akintunde

Marriage is composed of many things, friendship, sexual attraction, intellectual compatibility and of course, love. Love is the glue that keeps a relationship strong and solid. But how do you know if you are truly in love? Love is not lust. Marriage without love is not really a fully faceted relationship because I may be immensely sexually attracted to my partner but that does not mean I love her. Love, that I know, takes time to bloom and there is only one true love. Even though, humans are built with the capacity to love and to love again.

 

EXPERT SPEAKS

Ibrahim Kazeem, a writer is our expert on this issue. Love and friendship hold the union wonderfully together. As couple, one of the reasons why you ended up getting married is because you turned out to be good friends. Friendship leads to love. You can’t love someone all of a sudden if they are not your friend. Love is important, but friendship fuels love. The most important thing is friendship, then love will come naturally. When a husband is his wife’s best friend, they will hardly go wrong. Yeah, both are possible.

There are situations where people skip the friendship process and go to the dating stage immediately before then getting married. And there are some instances people take the right and almost flawless part of being friends before going to the altar. But if we look at it critically, you would agree with me that the best marriage time has seen is those people who became couple after being good friends. They rarely have problems with each other and it make their union strong. On the other hand, people that jump the process and move to the marriage phase have the highest number of troubles in their union. There are instances all round to back these assertions.

Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, would you accept a match making partner for marriage?

 

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