According to a Communication and Psychology expert, based in California, Dr. Lillian Glass, a relationship is toxic when people do not support each other. There is conflict and one seeks to undermine the other. They don’t respect each other, and there is lack of unity.
A toxic relationship is a relationship between people that could cause mental, emotional and possibly, physical damage to either of them. It makes the parties involved unstable and confused. There are several signs to show that you’re in a toxic relationship.
One common sign is you’re perpetually unhappy in the circle of friends that you are. This doesn’t mean that each time you’re unhappy, you make it a point of duty to change your circle of friends.
When you feel persistently unhappy whenever you’re around them then you should check it. Your circle of friends should be a safe space for you and not make you feel sad and dejected all the time. It’s unhealthy for you.
Sometimes, when you start feeling envious of another circle of friends because you know that you’re not getting the kind of satisfaction they seem to be getting from their own friends, it could be unhealthy.
Another sign of a toxic relationship is when you feel like you’re under compulsion to give your partner your time; and you feel bad for doing things in your leisure time and not spending that time with them. Or, you have to end relationships with people around you just to stick with them. That’s a toxic relationship.
Other times in a toxic relationship you walk on eggshells around the person involved; you can’t be yourself around them. You have arguments that are not constructive. You sometimes cry yourself to sleep. You face communication difficulties. You are guarded around them; you’re not open on matters arising that involves you and them.
Toxic relationship is not only limited to romance. Mentor-to-mentee relationships, business relationships and the likes could also be unhealthy.
A toxic relationship will hurt you, hinder your growth, make you depressed, and incapacitate you in every way it can. Within you, you know something is wrong, and you deserve better, but you can’t just see how bad things have been, and could be for you.
Leave! Yes, leave the moment you sense that you’re being drained mentally, emotionally and probably physically.
However, fear might want to hold you back and make it hard for you to leave because of memories and emotional attachment to the relationship, but you should do it to protect you.
See, there’s a saying by Jack Canfield that “Everything you want is on the other side of fear”.
Therefore, you must face your fears, and defeat them if you truly desire to be free. Never let yourself lose to fear. You should rather trample it underfoot.
It’s as difficult as losing something that used to be valuable to you; something that was once a part of your life. But, you either face your fears and be free, or give in to your fears and lose your freedom.
Successfully leaving a toxic relationship makes you a winner. It might sound sarcastic, but it’s true. You might have been really hurt in the relationship, battled with identity crisis, developed low self esteem, battled depression, but regardless, you’re a winner. It’s a very big win that’s worth celebrating.
I referred to it earlier that it’s not easy to leave because of memories you’ve created or emotional attachment. You get to struggle with the fact that you’ve become emotionally attached, and that in itself could be tiring. That’s why when you eventually leave, you win.
Did you know that the attempt to leave a toxic relationship shows how much you care about yourself? It’s a form of self-care. And you literally owe nobody, I repeat, nobody explanations for practicing self-care. If you’re in one please do all it takes to leave. It’s a win-win situation. You win when you leave.
Self care also doesn’t end in only leaving. Seek help, seek ways to be a better person. Go see a therapist, talk to your family, open up to someone you can trust, in all just look out for yourself.
I almost forgot. You can journal your thoughts. It will help you organize them. Journaling is also a means of practicing self-care. Journal your thoughts, worries, and all that you’re grateful for. You should track your thoughts by journaling it. Mental health experts usually recommend this hack. However, this should not replace the need for a therapist.
If you are in a toxic relationship, you should leave. Don’t manage. Don’t endure. Just leave.
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