Intimate partner violence often results from abusive relationships – such that the initial love and romance gives way to terror, controlling behaviour and the use of violence as a means of exerting influence.
It is a very common problem, with estimates indicating that one out of every three women had experienced an abusive relationship at some point; and a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds. Men can also be on the receiving end of abusive relationships – even though the vast majority is usually with males as perpetrators.
Our culture of shaming and blaming the victims as well as the subtle societal tolerance for these actions have unfortunately resulted in the ultimate tragedy – death, in some instances.
But why do people behave this way? And why is it so difficult to break off such relationships or marriages – before things degenerate into murder or grievous bodily harm? We will attempt to proffer some explanations.
It is helpful to bear in mind, that all of us as human beings are the product of our inherited genes from our parents as well as a product of our experiences growing up – home environment, school environment, religious influence, type of friends or neighbourhood we grew up in. They all play a role in shaping our personality and thinking.
Thus, it is often said that ‘the child is father to the man’. In the process of our growing up years and our socialising development, we all end up having our positives (strengths) and our negatives (flaws). There is no perfect human being.
Thus, in a way, we are all damaged goods. The wise man or woman is the one who is aware of his/her flaws and makes a conscious attempt to correct or compensate for them.
Why would anyone be a perpetrator?
Some risk factors increase the chances of individuals becoming perpetrators of intimate partner violence (IPV). These include:
Why do people remain in abusive relationships?
There are many reasons why working away from abusive relationship is difficult :
Conclusion
IPV should never be tolerated and there is absolutely no excuse for it. It can lead to fatal consequences, even when unintended. And everyone involved is ultimately a loser – the individuals involved, their children (if they have any), and the respective families.
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