Turning a meal to a place of learning

Many years ago, I was able to glean one of the most powerful principles of successful and significant leaders and I desire to share it with you today. While reading through the biography of one of the great leaders on earth today, I was able to see that having either lunch or dinner with mentors does make a school out of a meal. Over the years, I have adopted this beautiful principle and it has changed my life, leadership and business a great deal.

In the midst of a leader’s twilight years, he yearned to garner some wisdom from a highly regarded and reputable leader. He tried this for some time, but it did not work out. One day, he came up with the idea of having a lunch with him. After a while, his would be mentor was able to agree to have a lunch with him. In synopsis, he bought him a good lunch, but before that day, he had prepared some important questions on what was happening to him at that time in his leadership journey. And what a school he attended by sitting with someone (over lunch) who knew what he did not know that was punishing him!

What happens when you have either dinner or lunch with someone who knows what you do not know? It is an informal atmosphere and what you would get in an informal atmosphere; you cannot get it during official meetings. There are profound questions you would not want to ask openly and there are answers that a mentor may not want to give you openly that you can access privately during either a lunch or dinner.

A few years ago, I was opportune to have a lunch with three respectable leaders in our clime. On that day, I was able to hear what I would not have heard openly. And over the years, the deep secrets I was exposed to have succeeded in keeping me solid as a leader.  For the umpteenth time, there are deep secrets that can never be shared during conferences, summits and workshops. You can only get to hear them—when you sit with those who know what you need to know. May you be wise!

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Hear what Jefferson said about his mentor, Dr. Small: “Dr. Small was George Whythe’s bosom friend and to Jefferson, as a mentor. To his enlightened and affectionate guidance of my studies while at College, I am indebted for everything…He first introduced me into both rational and elevated courses of study, and from an extraordinary conjunction of eloquence and logic, and I was enabled to communicate them to the students with great effect. He procured for me the patronage of Mr. Wythe and both of them, the attention of Governor Fauquier, the ablest man—who ever filled the chair of government here…At these dinners, I heard more good sense, more rational and philosophical conversations than in all my life besides…” Thomas attended one of the best schools on earth at the time, but what he was able to access during those dinners was more important to him. It was information he got while having dinners with some of the great minds of his days that transformed his life.

Thomas’ biography reveals the wisdom behind—turning meals to places of learning.  Once again, during dinners, Jefferson was taught tremendous things that shaped his life and eventually helped him to dominate the history of America for twenty-four (24) out of the first thirty-two (32) years of America. For the umpteenth time, what you would hear during meals with influential people, you cannot hear it at Ivy League schools.

Over the years, what I have heard during lunches and dinners, I did not hear it during all my years on the inside of all the higher places of learning that I have been privileged to attend. I have heard deep things from highly placed people while having lunches and dinners with them. I have heard things that have helped to shape my thinking and shot me ahead of the generation I am breathing to lead. I have heard things that are too lofty for shallow-thinking people to process. In my own estimation, having lunches and dinners with people who know what you do not know is an uncommon-wisdom. Those who know this secret are using it to do global-shaking things.

From today, stop wasting either your lunch or dinner and start turning your meals to places of learning. I needed to hear some profound truths about marriage, so I decided to have lunch with a revered mentor of mine. It was an informal and relaxed setting; heavy words were just gushing out as water. And by the time we finished, I was about two-decades wiser than I was an hour before having the lunch with him. You too can start doing the same thing from this moment. It is a principle that works!

A lot of years ago, I heard of a man who was struggling to raise one of his children. The child was behaving absurdly and as an effect of this, he became helpless. It became a huge burden to the family. One day, he decided to have a lunch with his mentor. It was while sitting with his mentor that he was taught how to handle the child who was behaving bizarrely. The rest, as they say, is history.

He turned a lunch to a place of learning and it was able to solve a problem that almost destroyed one of his children. The answer to what you are battling with in your life, business and marriage may be residing on the inside of either a lunch or dinner with someone who knows what you need to know. Remember, what you will hear in a relaxed atmosphere, you may not get it in any Ivy League school. Make use of this wisdom and it is certain that I would see you at the top in the days to come. Sweetheart, till I come your way next week Monday, see you where successful and great leaders are found.