The Criterion sensitises couples to peaceful relationship, marriage

THE Criterion, an association of Muslim women in business and the professions, has warned against the danger of domestic violence in the society and advanced parental conflict as one of the strongest causes of problems for children.

The National Amir of The Companion, Alhaji Thabit Wale Sonaike, at a seminar, in Lagos, organised by The Criterion, said domestic violence “is a serious problem affecting families and communities. There is an urgent need to make sure that when spousal abuse occurs in our society, it is addressed because no marriage is perfect.”

He said the seminar was very timely coming at a critical time when the society was faced with all forms of domestic assaults.

“We have seen quite a number of spousal abuse cases here and there. Although it is very common for men to abuse women, men can also be victims of domestic violence. The only way the society can be better is when spouses are happy, love each other and are ready to overlook one another’s shortcomings,” Alhaji Sonaike said.

He urged members of the society to join hands together to tackle the problem of domestic violence, noting that prevention programmes would play an important role in improving behaviours among men and women.

“The message must be spread far and wide beyond the elites so that we can see improvement in our society. As Muslims, we are enjoined to love one another, whether we are of the same faith or not,” he said.

The Amirah of The Criterion, Alhaja Dhikrah Oshodi, said the choice of the theme of the seminar: “Beyond the Feel of Love,” was informed by the challenges facing many marriages with the attendant consequences for children, families and the society in general.

“Much concern is on marriages of less than a year, high divorce rate and the increase in psychiatric patients resulting from the feel of love,” Alhaja Oshodi said.

The Director, Office of the Public Defender, Alhaja Mariam Adeyemi, urged Nigerians to raise the alarm when they suspect any form of abuse.

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“When you suspect any form of maltreatment, make sure the issue is reported to relevant authorities that will take quick action to save the person involved in such abuse. One of the reasons people don’t want to speak out is because of the fear of what will happen to the abuser and who will take care of the victim,” she noted.

Adeyemi said the Lagos State government had provided an enabling environment for addressing issues of domestic abuse and bringing perpetrators to book.

“We have the family court which tries anyone who is accused of such offences. The court also assists victims of abusive relationships to take custody of their children after breaking up with their spouses,” she noted.

The Medical Director of Pinnacle Medical Service, Dr Maymunah Kadiri, described spousal abuse as a behavioral circle in troubled homes where aggression is the norm.

“Spousal abuse does not just start, it starts with the fact that an abuser was born in a home where there was disconnect, family issues and domestic violence. Male children from such home will grow up subconsciously with aggressive behaviours, while the female children will take abuse as normal,” Dr Kadiri said.

She advised couples in abusive relationships to seek the help of psychotherapists and those preparing to tie the nuptial knot to go for counselling and check the backgrounds of their partners before getting married.

“Going for counselling is a good way to reduce spousal abuse. Couples planning to get married should go for counseling. You will get to learn certain things about each other. You can court for good 20 years and still experience spousal abuse and your marriage will scatter within six months. This could be avoided by asking questions about family history,” Dr Kadiri added.