She takes me as a friend but I want to marry her

Dear Yemisi,

I met my lady in October last year. I am working with a company in town and she is a teacher.

What can I do for my babe to know that I really love her? I love her so much, but she is the hard type. She is always on my mind. I cannot stop thinking about her.

What I mean by hard type is that I am friendly than she is. My love for her is such that I want to have her as my wife, but she sees me as her friend. I am confused, what should I do?

I need your advice,

Annonymous, 07084570957.

Dear Anonymous,

A journey of a 1000-kilometre starts with one kilometre. You should be happy that your lady friend is seeing you as a friend for now. You only met with her about six months ago which to me is still early in the day to know whether her heart is with you or not.

Your combination provided you are destined to be a couple is a good one. Falling in love should not be forced on either of the parties. What has she done that makes her fit into your description of her being the ‘hard type’?

Her mien of being hard might just be a ploy of not wanting many of her admirers move so close to her because of not knowing what she is likely to be her reaction whenever she is approached for an affair.

Your definition of hardness is not clear to me, but in essence, I will want you to keep on being each other’s friend and let the relationship develop into that desire of your heart without being too much in haste of wanting to be her husband.

What if she is not interested in being your wife? You cannot impose your feelings or force her to accept you as her better half. It is better you allow her to make up her mind on your proposal if you had made any attempt at making her reason along your line.

If you are too rash and impatient with her, you cannot get her best. Let her coil out of her shell. As she sees the level of your commitment and sincerity, she might have a change of heart and be at home with you.

It is better you make your feelings known to her and give her the space to think about it. If she, on the long run, turns down your request, kindly move on. Forcing a horse to the river does not mean you can force it to drink water.

Being the friendly one is even an added advantage for the two of you as the relationship progresses. The two of you cannot afford to be too serious. The essence of companionship is for one to make up for the weakness of the other.

Be first established as friends before venturing into the next line of action.