Spiritual dimension of marital conflicts

Marital conflicts can be baffling some times, such that you keep wondering how happily married couples get to such points, or what went wrong with two love birds that have become covenant enemies. I am repeating this as a result of what my husband and I experienced with a couple we were counselling and praying with over a marriage of over forty years. Let me leave the ages of the couple to your imagination. I am hoping that some strange marital conflicts will benefit from this piece. A few examples of such should suffice for us to grasp my point:

* This couple had been happily married for almost twenty years; a cynclosure to all eyes. I remember a woman who heard of their conflicts, expressed great shock, such that she went to ask the husband that “what happened to the Romeo and Juliet” in their marriage? She told me that the couple was a beauty of a role model to her when growing up. But they have become sworn enemies today

* This couple in conflict have been married for fifty five years; they started out well as a great couple. Yet, years after, they became enemies of the highest order, not wanting to see each other prosper in life. Today, they are divorced, yet they still continue in battle to destroy each other.

* Let me share my personal experience to drive home my point on the spiritual dimension of marital conflicts. I got married almost twenty five years ago. I have been enjoying a great life with my husband. But, the truth of the matter is that, my great marriage would have crashed, hitting the rocks if not for the mercy of God. Fifteen years into our marriage, one night we went to bed without any quarrel whatsoever. But, early in the morning, I got up, went to the restroom, and when I got back into the room, my husband and I got into an argument, and it was the worst we have had so far. No physical assault though, but I was ready to end the journey.

My husband said to me at a point in the middle of the argument that he wanted to share something with me before we go our separate ways. This was what he told me:

“I just had a dream in which I saw four ladies in white garments lined up in front of our car. We sat at the front. Another woman stood by the driver side of the car, where you sat. She rained curses on our marriage. I got out of the car to challenge her. Then I woke up”

That dream was the saving grace for my marriage. We realized that many people misbehaving in life, do not just do it, they respond to spiritual programming. To understand what this means, you have to consider the implication of the pronouncement of blessings and curses. Such pronouncements are meant for success and failure in life, respectively. So, a marriage operating under evil pronouncements is empowered to fail, and vice versa.

Our experience in this direction especially on that day, birth a new resolve in us to make sure we succeed in our marriage, at all cost. It has also been a reference point in our assignment as life coaches and counsellors. We now know that strange life occurrences are direct consequences of evil programming.

Dealing with Strange Marital Conflicts

For a couple going through marital conflicts defying solutions, you need to come to the realization that there could be more to it than the normal. You should ask yourselves how you got to that point. Ask yourselves what happened to the love in Tokyo that ruled your hearts. Seek to know why two of you have suddenly become sworn enemies in that marriage. If you get to this point, just like we did that day, you will be able to work things out, and resolve the conflicts.

I believe that this piece will be of great help to a marriage out there going through turbulence. I have written out of personal experience, and those garnered on the field of counselling.  I remain resolute to marital success.

However, this doesn’t foreclose the responsibility of each married partner to play the expected roles  in ensuring the success of the marriage. Failure of any partner to work for the good of the marriage will be an enhancer to the spiritual forces working contrary to the success of the marriage. It could be likened to the case of someone being trailed to be kidnapped, who now keeps late night. The plan will be “easy does it” or walk over. Despite the fact of the spiritual dimension, every partner must still actively play the expected roles towards the success of the marriage. It’s then that one can say he or she has done his or her best, fulfilling all righteousness.  After all, a man that wants to win against harmattan, must have had his or her bath.

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