Solemnisation of marriage: Keynotes from the Shari’ah (II)

BISMILLAHI Rahmon Roheem.

The Prophet (SAW) then asked the man who was too wretched to pay Soddaaqi to approach his kinsmen in order that they might come to his aid but no help came his way. The Prophet (SAW) then suggested if the man could offer a worthless ring for a price on the woman. The man, still, could not do that.

Meanwhile, the Prophet (SAW) had observed that the man did not for once move from his sitting position which caused the Prophet (SAW) to ask the man if he ever had anything whatsoever which he could bring forth as Soddaaqi on the woman in marriage to her. The man told the Prophet (SAW) that he only could say of owning a scanty covering loin cloth. The Prophet (SAW) further prompted the man to know whether the man could split the piece of loin cloth for him to spare a half as Soddaaqi on the woman.

At this juncture, the man could not respond to the prompting, apparently convinced that he could not afford going about in nudity as the other half of the loin cloth could hardly serve him appropriately. After a long pensive pause, the Prophet (SAW) asked the man to recite an ‘Ayah’ or ‘Sura’ he could have memorised in lieu of Soddaaqi to the woman. The man was able to do just that, and the woman was satisfied. Thus, the Prophet (SAW) asked him to go home with the woman as wife whose Soddaaqi was affirmed by the Prophet (SAW).

This anecdote goes to underline the point being made to explain the role and significance of a ring to fill the void of Soddaaqi. A ring or some other substitutes can only be converted as Soddaaqi only to allow for the Nikaah to hold in the event that money could not be offered readily by the husband-to-be. However, all Soddaaqi have to be witnessed and testified to by the people. (Asasu Ikhtiyari; Muwatau Imam Malik; Hadith Bukhari and Muslim; Abu Daud; Tirimiziyy’ Ibn Majaa)

Muslims should not be misled into bringing some ideas that are not firmly rooted in traditional and cultural practices into Nikaah as Sunnah. Many Islamic weddings these days in our society have come to incorporate certain odd items such as kola nuts, bitternuts, sugar, salt, alligator pepper, honey and sugar cane into important aspects of the Sunnah. This is grossly misconceived.

Related to the above bid’ah is a common practice whereby a prospective husband who may not afford to accomplish parts of the Soddaaqqi to the woman is denied the privilege to go ahead and marry the woman even after having fulfilled all other conditions of the Sunnah. This is not Sunnah. A Muslim should not be subjected to any hardship, made to pay through his nose all in the name of Soddaaqqi. Sunnah is, the Prophet (SAW) allows for a would-be-husband who may be of low means to fulfill the rites of Soddaaqqi by installments rather than being put to a cut-throat, on-the-spot fulfillment of Soddaaqi.

The bottom line that must be stressed: Islam embraces and encourages sanity, inter-personal peace. Concession is even given to a would-be-husband so much that he may pay up the woman much later in the matrimony. His wife may even forgo the payment altogether, all for the husband’s convenience.

Procedures and protocols involved in ensuring all traditions which must lead to Nikaah is known in Shari’ah as ‘Khitibat’ and the protocols of handing the new wife over to the husband as all conditions that must be met are successfully fulfilled is equally known as ‘Khutbat’.

Islamic law establishes a far-reaching decorum when it comes to choosing a wife. Islam allows a man to marry from a pool of richly, virtuous women of faith.

However, Allah (SWT) states in clear terms the demarcation (Qur’an 4:22-24). A guided Muslim is forbidden to choose from the following female folks: his biological mother, his biological daughter, his biological aunt, his biological niece, his foster mother who had breastfed him, his foster breastfed sister, his mother-in-law, his step-daughter (from a wife with whom he has had intimacy), his daughter-in-law, his sister-in-law (while still in valid relationship with his wife), his stepmother (married to his father previously or presently), his granddaughter and or his great granddaughter.

Of a special note from the above list is a woman breastfeeding foster kids from different parents, although at very different auspicious times and periods. This situation is not unusual in Africa, even in Europe and the Americas. Money is one of the reasons that could drive lots of women into foster-motherhood. Therefore, caution should be taken to make sure that kids that are brought for foster care and breastfed by same foster mothers do not later in life marry one another, even when they are not essentially Muslims. However, such foster children may come to marry freely from among themselves once they were not fostered to same mothers.

Moreover, certain health conditions have been observed to cause many Muslim marriages to be dissolved. Some of these health problems are even sexual in nature. Once a condition like these becomes intolerable to the other partner, be it the husband or the wife, Shari’ah allows for separation.

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