Should marriage be based on religious beliefs or individual interest?

The collapse of marriages has always been hinged on two basic foundations: religious belief and individual interest. Some posit that their marriages collapsed on the ground that they didn’t consult spiritual leaders or because they were not are not done based on religious belief before it was consumated taking the decision of walking down the aisle. Some stressed that their individual interests and differences led to sour experience in their marriage, in a conservative and religious setting like Nigeria where all issues are hinged on religion, should marriage be based on religious beliefs or individual interest?

On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our experts said on the issue:

 

Alabi Omolara Olutayo

Personally, I think in this era of civilization, religion should not determine marriage. Marriage is a mutual relationship between two adults who believes in each other and have resolved to spend the rest of their lives together, irrespective of their tribe, religion, status, class or language. Marriage should be based on personal convictions and love. Once I love the man and I have the conviction that he is right for me, and the feeling is mutual – every other thing is secondary. Allowing issues like religion to influence one’s choice in marriage has ruined a lot of relationships and even marriages. I believe that marriage should be based on individual interest and convictions rather than religion, tribe, class, status or language

Adeloye Adesoji

Marriage should be based on one’s religious belief in order to allow peace to reign in the family and also to have mutual understanding.

 

Olabanji Adeola

I think marriage should be based on religious belief. According to the Bible, God is the foundation of marriage. Thus, it’s best you go back to Him when you want to step into one or you base the marriage on it.  Most of the problems in marriage today are as a result of going into it with personal interest. We need to go back to the author of marriage for things to go as planned!  And if there would be any challenge after all, it would be for greater good.

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Kunle Laleson

I strongly believe that marriage should be based on religious belief. God told Abraham to move and establish a nation via his family. Everybody should be allowed to marry according to their religious beliefs so as to communicate with their creator! Sincerely, one must never be deceived by any other belief than his or her own religious beliefs.

 

Ibrahim Kazeem

Yes, marriage should be based on religious beliefs. As a religious person, we were meant to know some qualities we should look for in a wife. And if you marry based on religious doctrine, your marriage will excel, except you are not being intentional and truthful about it.

Lanre Oseni

It depends on society, culture and Nations. In some societies, marriage will be religion – based. In most cultures, it will be tribe- based. In modern times, individual interests are overriding the cultural – religious beliefs. Examples – Tinubu and Remi, Fashola and Wife, T.Y.Danjuma and Daisy and Abubakar Atiku and Titi. For “development” sake, my interest will override my religious belief to marry a loved one.

 

Bukola Ogunyakin

Both should be put into consideration. If not, the marriage may eventually crash  because there will be a time when the children will be like ‘I am going to my Daddy’s mosque’ and the other one will say ‘I am going to my Mummy’s church’,  whereas the child that said he’s going to his Daddy’s mosque could be the mother’s favorite, while the other child that said he’s going to his Mummy’s church could be the Daddy’s favorite. Hence, there will be a major disagreement among them all especially between the parents, and this may cause their eventual separation.

 

EXPERT SPEAKS

Ogundijo Ajibola is our expert on this issue. To my own understanding, both beliefs should be put into consideration. Religious belief follows God standard and individual belief has to do with what you believe, interest and expect to be in your marriage. Let’s take the place of agreement as an example, religious belief is that God must agree to your coming together, that is why it’s so important to pray before going into any relationship as a child of God. The place of individual interest now comes in, in the place of agreement between both parties involved in the relationship.

There must be mutual agreement between both in prayer, planning and all other aspects. That is why we are meant to go into courtship for some months (at least six months) so as to observe, correct and train each other and see to us agreeing with our various interest.

So, if the marriage is based on your interest and you know that you can’t continue in the relationship, you can be free to pull the plug from such relationship and call it quit or during the courtship there is no agreement between both parties, you should be free to quit such relationship. It is not a sin against God. God respects the place of mutual agreement that is why the Bible says that “Can two walk together except they agree”

Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating:  Which would you prioritise in selecting a partner: Emotional Stability or Self Sufficiency?

 

Join our WhatsApp Conversation every Sunday by 8pm or send in your comments (50 words) to the phone number, email address above or Twitter handle: @WhatsAppConvs

 

Nigerian Tribune