She is cheating on me

Dear Yemisi,

I need your advice. I am dating a girl who I really love. But the girl who I really love is cheating on me.

I called her on a fateful day and asked if she really loves me or my money. But she replied that she loves me. I also told her that somebody came to tell me that they saw her with her boy friend. I have also seen her with different guys and whenever she was with any of them, she pretended not to have seen me. And whenever I try to ask her, she would start shedding tears and even swear that there is nothing between them.

The climax now is that one of her friends is asking me out, but I don’t want to cheat on her by acceding to her friend’s advances.

Please, what should I do?

Skyboy, 0*08*****1*.

Dear Skyboy,

If you are not satisfied with your girlfriend’s position on your claim that she is cheating on you which she has denied, it is better you let her be.

According to your letter, you have taken time to find out what you have been told about her which you have even seen life and direct and she maintains that there is nothing unusual about her association with other guys, it will be better you take her on her words or you call it quits with her.

You will be making a big mistake by believing what you were told by somebody. Can I ask who that person is to you or to your girlfriend? Is he/she sure of his/her findings?  That you have claimed to have caught her with other guys while she ignores your presence might be that she is not in any amorous relationship with the guys in question.

As you have equally mentioned, that she sheds tears and curses any time she is confronted shows that she might be acting some scripts that will soon play themselves out.  If she keeps denying and she is not ready to change her interaction with other guys, I think you have given her enough rope to pull.

Her interaction with other guys might be actually cheating on you. It might be that she feels safe and secure in the company of men. There are other ladies in her shoes who prefer to have men as friends without strings attached. If you have to continue with her, you will have to tolerate this for sometime as she tries to live by your dictates.

Now that you are being lured by one of her friends, I will advise you to steer clear of such a friend. I hope she is not the ‘somebody’ who told you stories about your girlfriend in an attempt to warm herself into your heart.

You will be staying off embarrassment by not starting what you cannot finish. I don’t see your relationship with your girlfriend’s friend as one that will last. Instead, it will be scandalous and ridiculous that you will hate yourself by wanting to pay your girlfriend back in her own coin.

If you will be severing the cord of affection from your lover based on her alleged frivolity, her friend will not be the solution. Why not look elsewhere for succor?

You must ensure that what you have been told and seen are truly the truth.