Seven signs that you may be dating yourself

There are pointers to the fact that you might be dating yourself even while you have a relationship partner. A relationship is meant to be collective and not individualistic. So, if your relationship is draining you, look out for the signs.   

If you’d rather be on your own because being in a relationship doesn’t make any difference but stresses you out, then who knows? You may be dating yourself. In other words, we could say that you are in a one-sided relationship.   

What does a partnership entail? In this context, it entails parties in the relationship working hand-in-hand to make things work and align. So, when one person in a relationship is showing up for the responsibilities of two people, then he or she might want to look critically into it.   

The following are the signs that indicate that you would rather be single than be in a relationship with your partner.  

1. Your efforts are sidelined

What is a relationship without efforts to make it better by the parties involved? A relationship will not work if both partners do not put in the work. It could get frustrating if one person in the relationship is the only one putting in the work. Do you know what’s worse? The efforts of this person are not being recognized and appreciated by the other party.   

So, if you fall into the category of putting in the work all by yourself without your partner acknowledging them and showing gratitude, that could mean that you are the only one who is actively involved in your relationship. In other words, you might just be dating yourself.   

2. You often take the blame

Your partner behaves badly towards you and offends you, yet you always find a way to excuse his or her behaviour. It doesn’t end there. You blame yourself for it and affirm that you’ll do better next time. The fault is your partner’s and he or she ought to apologise for it, not you.   

In a relationship, both partners are meant to own up to their faults and show that they are sorry and would do better next time. Your partner doesn’t value you if he or she leaves you to take the blame for their faults. And you might just be dating yourself if this keeps repeating itself. You are not perfect, your partner isn’t too, and you are both working on yourself. Don’t take the blame for their misbehaviour and make your partner think they are perfect when they are not.   

3. You are always the one to initiate activities

One of the many activities expected of a couple is communication. If you are always the first to communicate with them and make efforts to keep the conversation going or the one to initiate a date or a random outing; amidst other things, then you are probably dating yourself. This should be mutual. When you are the one always reaching out, it might make you appear desperate and needy. Sometimes,   

it could make you look as if you have nothing else to do with your life than to call and initiate other activities.   

4. Your partner isn’t proud of being in a relationship with you

When your partner is proud of being in a relationship with you, they will never hide your identity from the people that matter to them. People who are in a relationship have done this time and time again to hurt their partner. If they ever introduce you as some random person, then you might want to rethink.    

5. Sacrifices are one-sided

What is a relationship without sacrifices? If you are the only one who is always willing to give up something for your partner, and they don’t do the same at any point in time. Then, you might be dating yourself. You can’t claim to love and sacrifice is missing from the equation. Love and sacrifice go hand in hand. If your partner would rather sacrifice something for somebody but you, then you are probably in a relationship with just yourself.  

6. They act like you don’t exist

They do not pay attention to you. They only try to sabotage you and tend to ignore you pretty easily. Then they gaslight you when they know that you have the right to be angry about things like that. When you confront them, they make you look unreasonable and try to blackmail you into keeping quiet and accepting whatever they do, even if it hurts you.  

7. They don’t respect you

Respect is an important factor that should not be found missing in a relationship. If you are not being respected, then you might want to be sure that you are not dating yourself in your relationship.   

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