Preventing being consumed by the fire of extra marital affairs

T              HESE days, the rate of extra marital affairs has gone so high, that to express concern about it, is not out of place. It is so bad that the unimaginable now happens. It is indeed a worrisome situation that is worth sparing a thought or energy for. A good number of people who get caught up in such relationship never planned to be involved in it. Rather, one thing was just leading to another, and before you can say “Jack Robinson”, the deed has been done, and the damage involved is better imagined than experienced.

What could have been responsible?

Sexual boredom, financial pressure, spousal abuse, fun seeking, revenge mission for spousal hurts, and a lot more. But these are not the real factors that lead to becoming a marital cheat . But we have held them responsible over the years without succeding at the fight against extra marital insurgency. To my mind, the real culprits in marital cheating are the following:

1. Insensitivity of spouses

Couples are  insensitive to each other’s mood or behavioural changes. A spouse is hurting, moody, or excusing unusual acts, and the other one doesn’t notice, care or overwhelmed with work or business stuff. When this happens, the fire of cheating burns easily. Couples must avoid this mould.

2. Poor handling of sexual weaknesses. This has made quite a good number of married people to be caught up in the cheating game. An executive woman understands her sexual weakness, such that any official trip is usually preceeded by good rounds of sexual escapade with her husband. This helps her to stay sane while away from home. That is what I mean here. Know your sexual boundary and don’t stray beyond it.
3. Lack of sex talk

Quite a good number of couples do not engage in sex talk, to discover what they need to do better in sex matters. Rather, club houses, office colleagues and the like are centres of their sexual discuss. This should not be. Your partner is the one with whom you practicalise sex with. So, he or she is in the best position to discuss with.

• Factors in effective communication

4. Sex talk with opposite sex outside marriage

Discussing sex with a person of opposite sex other than one’s partner, is to create a platform for cheating in marriage. Couples must resist this temptation to avoid being consumed by the fire of sex outside marriage.

5. Lack of proper counselling

There is a dearth of skilled marriage counsellors these days. This makes it easier for hurting married people to fall victims of poor counselling. It has made a lot of marital issues to be poorly handled. Thank God for platforms like this column, that help to redress the situation.

Consideration for these issues will go a long way in stemming the tide of marital cheating.

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