Preparing your daughter for first menstruation

The start of menstruation is a major event in a girl’s life. Some girls greet those first drops of blood with joy or relief, while others feel confused and scared. Whatever the reaction, the arrival of the first period holds the same meaning for every girl: It is proof that she is becoming a woman.

On an average, most girls start their periods when they are 12 or 13 years old; although some begin earlier or later. But if you wait until your daughter sees her period to talk to her about menstruation, that is too late.

So, how do you discuss menstruation, educate as well as guide and support your daughter, before the big day arrives? Or, what do you tell your son because boys have questions, too. However, before you can discuss menstruation, it is important to have a good understanding of how the process works.

Menstruation

In the early 1900s, girls generally reached menarche; the medical term for the first period or the beginning of menstruation at age 14 or 15. For a variety of reasons, including better nutrition, girls now usually start to menstruate between the ages of nine and 16. But menstruation is not just about having a period. It is a sign that a girl is physically capable of becoming pregnant.

During the menstrual cycle, hormones are released from different parts of the body to help control and prepare the body for pregnancy. That preparation begins when the ovaries; two oval-shaped organs that lie to the upper right and left of the uterus, or womb produce the hormones oestrogen and progesterone.

These hormones trigger certain changes in the endometrium; the lining of the womb. Then, other hormones from the pituitary gland stimulate the maturing and release of the egg, or ovum, from the ovary.

The release of the egg is called ovulation, and it happens in the middle of the cycle; usually day 14 of a 28-day cycle, for example. From the ovary, the egg moves into one of the fallopian tubes, these are the two tubes that lead from the ovaries to the uterus.

If the egg is fertilised by sperm, the fertilised egg will take about two to four days to travel down the fallopian tube. It will then attach to the thick, blood-rich lining of the uterus. If it’s not fertilised, the egg begins to fall apart, the estrogen and progesterone levels drop, and the uterine lining breaks down and is shed; this bleeding is what is known as a period.

The menstrual cycle and other information

A menstrual cycle lasts from the first day of one period to the first day of the next. The typical cycle of an adult female is 28 days, although some are as short as 22 days and others are as long as 45. Periods usually last about five days, although this can vary, too. During a period, a woman passes about two to four tablespoons of menstrual fluid.

For the first few years after menstruation begins, cycles are often irregular. They may be shorter, about three weeks or longer, about six weeks, or a young woman may have only three or four periods in a year. The absence of periods is called amenorrhea. Your daughter should see her doctor if she hasn’t started menstruating by age 15, or three years after her first signs of puberty appear.

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How do you know when your daughter might start menstruating?

You should be able to see physical changes that signal she is getting close to starting. Breast development is usually the first sign that a girl has entered puberty. It is usually followed by the growth of some pubic hair.

About a year after breast development begins, most girls enter into a phase of rapid growth. They will get taller and curvier, and their feet will grow. Then, about a year after the growth spurt begins and about two and a half years after breast development starts, the first period arrives. These signs however, are not stereotyped.

Talking About It

It’s probably best to avoid “The Talk” about menstruation. Instead, try to spread it out into lots of smaller conversations — education about how the human body works should be continuous. Otherwise, too much importance is placed on a single discussion and the information can be overwhelming. Kids reaching puberty should already know what’s going to happen to their bodies.

Even toddlers begin asking questions about their bodies, and parents should answer them honestly. But how specific you are with the details should depend on your child’s maturity and ability to understand.

Throughout childhood, kids ask many questions and each is an opportunity for parents to advance their kids’ knowledge. Doing so not only gives kids the information they need when they ask for it, but also lets them know that their parents are available for and comfortable with these discussions.

But you shouldn’t necessarily wait for their questions to talk about puberty and menstruation. Ideally, by the time they’re close to puberty, both girls and boys should have full knowledge of the changes that will take place in their bodies. Why? Kids really want to learn about most things from their parents. And you can be sure that they’ll also hear their friends discuss these changes.

By providing kids with good information, parents will know that they’re well-informed and able to sort out any misinformation. Kids can often make certain aspects of puberty — menstruation, especially — sound bad and scary; and if that’s the only information kids, then that’s what they’ll believe.

It’s also important for parents to paint the process of menstruation in a positive light. If a mother refers to her period as “the curse,” her daughter might get a negative impression of the whole experience. Instead, mothers can explain that monthly periods are a natural and wonderful part of being a woman. After all, without them, women couldn’t become mothers

Explaining that everyone is different is also key. For example, your daughter may be concerned that her body is changing more quickly — or more slowly — than her friends’ bodies.

Girls also need to be familiar with feminine-hygiene supplies (sanitary pads and tampons) and they should know that sometimes periods may cause cramps when the muscles of the uterus contract.

Another reason kids need to know about menstruation at an early age is that sexually active girls can get pregnant even before they start menstruating. Sometimes ovulation (the release of an egg from an ovary) can happen just before a girl is about to have her first period. This means that she can be fertile and become pregnant even though she hasn’t yet menstruated.