Parents must ensure that they are the first source of sex education —Dr Clementina Osezua

Dr Oghoadena Clementina Osezua is a senior lecturer at the Department of Sociology and Anthropology, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State and the Convener of Hadassah Forum, a faith-based non-governmental organisation (NGO) with a vision to build godly character in young ladies and teach them how to comport themselves for distinction in order for them to fulfill destiny. In this interview by TAYO GESINDE, she speaks on her passion for the girl-child and women.

 

What informed your choice of career?

I would say God’s providence. I never started out with the intention of being a lecturer. I had a father who was a foremost educationist. We had a very great relationship. He chose not to compel any of his children into any particular career path, but rather insisted that they must be allowed to follow their natural inclinations. However, it was  Prof (Mrs) OlabisiAina, my academic mentor  and my PhD supervisor,   who possessed the needed  foresight  that culminated in the  discovery of  the potentials of being a lecturer in me.  She discovered me. I suddenly realised that I had always loved to read,   impart knowledge with passion and loved to see youths empowered by educating their minds. I am convinced that the strength of any nation is as the quality of investment on educating her citizenry. So I feel that I am very strategic and relevant in the building up of youths who are incontestably tomorrow’s leaders. I am happy to be part of the noblest profession in the world.

 

The price I paid to get to the top

Indeed, every glory has a story. That is a cliché, but it is true. The English man would say no rose without thorns. One of such price was to develop, cautiously, a possibility mindset of I can do it with God on my side. I convinced myself that I will never manipulate my way to success or seek the easy but ignoble way to the top. It worked. That made me extraordinarily purposeful and I never missed my classes. I also developed a great confidence in my ability. Confidence is a by -product of relevant knowledge. You must be strong, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I remembered having our two sons while I was on my Masters programme. It was extremely difficult times as our kids came in very close succession.  By the help of God, I was able to still retain my feat of emerging the best student in the course work in my MSc class. Finally, I paid a price of refusal to compromise my values no matter the enticement of immediate gratification. Sometimes as a lady in a male dominate work environment, those values will be challenged, but stick with your values, don’t you ever accept the blackmail of chauvinistic males.

 

On Hadassah Forum

Apart from my very natural passion to see young ladies, and women in general live empowered and fulfilled lives, in retrospect; I realise that it has a divine orchestration. My Masters and PhD work were specifically on women/ gender issues. I also remember thinking that if I did not have a father who believed in training the girl-child to the peak of educational attainment, where would I have been?  The mandate became indisputable when I listened to one of Rev FunkeAdejumo’s messages and all I could hear was to read the book of Ether, which I did. Afterwards, the Word “Hadassah” kept resounding. I realised that many young ladies lacked mentors in the tertiary institutions and even in secondary schools. Unfortunately the few female lecturers that should have been like models to them are usually busy competing or even resenting them. I realised that parents are very busy and have little or no time to spend with their children. I realised that many of these girls have suffered from cycles of abuse, low self -esteem, battered self -image and unexplored potential. I also found out that specialised attention was not even given to girl children in our churches in order to address the very many sensitive problems that they are entangled in. It became a burden and of course I sought the face of the Lord and here we are today.

 

The journey so far

It has been very exciting and fulfilling experience for me as a person. By God’s grace, we hold monthly meetings where young ladies are equipped with requisite knowledge that will empower them and make them become resourceful to function in their destiny assignments. We have modules that deal with Cultivating Right Attitude (CRA); Queens’ protocols (QP) where issues that pertain to developing self- esteem and emotional intelligence are explored. We also have Health Beauty and Nutrition Tips (HNBT), Book Reviews (BR), Entrepreneurial Skill Acquisition Seminars (ESAS); Success Principles (SP) and Relationship Management Skill (RMS) among others. We have also had the opportunity of organizing a workshop for female graduating students of Obafemi Awolowo University called the LIFE SKILL ACQUISITION PROGRAMME (LISAP). Last year’s theme was “Stepping out in a grand style.” Professionals and consultants were invited to teach vital skills that could help them participate more meaningfully with their male counterparts in our present day globally competitive world.  During the one year anniversary in June, 2017, Hadassah Form awarded scholarship to four young ladies in order for them to pay their sessional fees in their respective department.

 

How parents can protect their children from rapists and paedophiles

Parents need to learn to get into the world of the children. They need to be more conscious that their kids are more exposed and face greater threats when compared to their own times. So, parents need to awaken to the reality that using their own parents’ methods for raising children today, will fail. Discuss with your children to the point that they are able to share sensitive and personal experiences in their lives with you. Tell them directly the parts of the body that no one must touchwhether close relatives or distant family friends. Most acts of sexual abuse are perpetrated by persons known to the victims. Also, parents must ensure that they are the first source of sex education. Let husbands get involved. Do not leave this to your wife. Do not allow your kids to go to unverified sources outside you. It may be too dangerous. Teach your kids to be assertive about their body. Insist that they must speak up to anyone who wants to play with their body or touch any of their private parts. It must be reported.  Deliberately know your children’s friends. Let your kids know who your relatives are and let them be bold about discussing matters pertaining to their sexuality with you. I also think it’s important for parents not to leave their teenagers’ lives in the hands if internet enabled phones. A number of young adults are hooked to internet pornography and get connected to virtual relationships that are inimical to good conduct.

 

Combining career with the home front and gender activism.

I have coped not because it was not very tough combining career and the home front, but because I have enjoyed God’s help in very tangible forms. I had unusual strength and positive mental disposition that women before me were successful at it despite numerous constraints. So, I believed that I had what it takes to not only cope, triumph as well. It would pass. I had supportive older colleagues, like my PhD Supervisor, Professor (Mrs) Aina, and of course, Professor (Mrs) Odebiyi, and Professor (Mrs) Oloruntimehin, the first female Criminologist in Nigeria were all there to boost my possibility mindedness. I cannot overemphasize the place of marital support and stability for a woman.  I must say that my husband also made it easier for me. I am married to Dr. EhiyamenOsezua, the current Head of Department of Public Administration, and University of Ilorin. He is my friend and a great pillar of support.