[OPINION] From NBA to NUJ: Lawyers are slapping us

One beautiful morning, one BAD boy asked his supposed father, dad, “Are you my biological father?” The father replied, “Yes, I am”. “Why did you ask”, the father questioned. “My colleagues in school said that their parents told them that, you don’t have a p*nis and even that, you’re away for almost two years before I was given birth….”

Next, the father, “You’re mad! You’re stupid. Very very stupid. I can see it in your face –you’re not looking like other children of mine.” Well, the bitter truth in this anecdote is, the story being told has been retold. This’s obviously the same fate of Femi Fani-Kayode when the journalist asked him a very “rude, stupid” question. You know, it’s like asking your mummy if she’s a nightwalker, even if you know. That’s ungodly and, you may not eat on the second day. If every journalist is as ‘callous’, ‘ungodly’, and “unprofessional” as this, how will media houses grow in Nigeria? Where will publishers get brown envelopes from? That journalist doesn’t know that in Nigeria, unlike elsewhere, politicians are the givers of air that citizens breathe in -in order to survive. They’re the creator who must not be questioned.

How dare you ask such a troubling question? Don’t you know that you’re digging someone’s grave? “Sir, the question was, “you said you have gone round six or seven states to inspect projects undertaken by those governors, and now you are here in Cross River state, rounding off your one-week visit to Governor Ayade. Who is bankrolling you?” Imagine that question from a son of nobody to a god, lawyer, ex-minister of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, who MUST have not known the meaning of “bankrolling”. Nay, I won’t take that! That man should have asked, “Sir, you being a vibrant lawyer who has been ‘practising’ for years even without any chamber, demigod, heckler of Buhari, are you contesting for any post come 2023”? Or, “Sir, I hope whilst you’re coming here, you see that BBC, CNN and other mainstream media are commending you for a great job done so far as if you’re still a minister.

Are you happy about this development and what impact will it have on your presidential or vice president ambition come 2023? A question like that won’t resurrect the insecurity in men of the underworld like ‘Boda’ Kayode. You know, elder statesmen like Kayode who has been prosecuted or persecuted for many “good” reasons like drug and mismanagement is not expected to be asked about politicking, bankrolling, or sponsorship. They give, they don’t beg even if ALL they have, they are likely not have got them from their sweat, hardworking but rather from the malfeasance and porous system like ours.

Of all the saga, what caught my attention was those “confidence” journalists who were begging Fani Kayode. In fact, they are so calm down that, if he had slapped the “bad” journalist who asked the question, they’d have sat down comfortably –still begging that the man speaking like God. I remember them, Fela Anikulapo called them “zombies”.

Those one sitting are not even so ‘good’ like those ones saying: “Did we not tell you”? Imagine those ones too, these are journalists who’ll be sent to question Lai Muhammad, Buhari, Akpabio on accountability? That’s hara-kiri!

A lot of disturbing happenstances are blooming in Nigeria. From the NBA dis-inviting the Emperor of Kaduna to a minister of the “world” from Lagos calling a journalist that he[journalist], is stupid. The rate at which people look down on politicians in Nigeria is disturbing. As if Nigerians are not aware that, politicians are gods! How can Nigeria Bar Association look down on a patriot who was reported to have paid a certain amount of money to curtain killings in Kaduna, exhibiting devil-may-care attitude towards the people he’s expected to secure? A landlord that’s aware of everything in his house; including one of the rooms in the house being engulfed in fire, but this room, is not his. For, the fire is actually from the tenant’s room.

You know, it’s not the responsibility of the landlord to look after that? So, why should el-Rufai be concerned about the killings in the Southern Kaduna? As long as it’s not Northern Kaduna, where Muslims are, I don’t see any reason for the governor to intervene in such a sinister that’s going on in the state he governs! Those Christians in Southern Kaduna didn’t want him as their governor. el-Rufai, too, doesn’t want them as his followers. For this, he even chose a Muslim as his running mate. Now that he’s emerged, he must submerge them –pay them back for their blunt and physical “aspersions” towards him. NBA went overboard to have rejected/terminated the ‘visa’ given to el-Rufai to come and address them about being a patriot and ways to respect human right, how elite governors must rule their states with biases, religion, ethnicity and so on as he, has been doing.

In defence of this ‘unpatriotic’ of NBA, its branch in Kaduna, Kano and MURIC had called the attention of its members to boycott the NBA conference. Fidgeting because of the virtual conference? You know, el-Rufai is a lawyer too. So, why will anyone look down on him? Besides, he’s a Muslim from the north. Not even a Muslim from the Yorubaland. Well, I like MURIC, their president has spoken – we don’t love it, “our” brother’s right as a Muslim has been infringed and we will fight for him. A professor of Law from Ile Ife is fighting for a lawyer, governor from the north. You know, that’s expected of a good nationalist.

Surprisingly, the insult on el-Rufai’s injury hasn’t been cured when NUJ brought theirs to “honourable” minister, ‘minister of yesterday affairs and inspection’ I don’t like us not saying the truth. Why will that man ask god questions? Questioning God about creation story might go against theist, and even against ‘good’ faith.

So, I wonder how that “brutal” journalist asked such question that will bring about the needless of why they’re ALL converging at that place! Wait, I’m made to understand that Fani Kayode is now a minister under Buhari( low key) now. If not, how can ex-minister be moving from one state to another to “inspect” projects?

Obviously, next time, that journalist should be ‘coward’ enough to ask Kayode a simple question like Sir, have you read LAWs OF HUMAN NATURE? If not, kindly read it because your insincerity may make you faint like your colleague did not too long. That book will teach you more! I don’t like someone who can’t ask such a simple question after that hard question.

He should’ve added such onion to spice up his first question. We’d have seen another big show – show, where the god of money faints. Fani! Fani!!, Ex-minister!!!, a lawyer that must not be questioned. You know, it’s only Fani that can question Buhari. He’s the only one who can speak Queen’s English and walk away with any question. You know, he’s like a thief –who can steal another person’s goods, but his, should not be taken away by police.

He’ll fight to the END. If media houses will display confidence in them, they should start boycotting Fani’s press conference. Then, he’ll know the power of the media.

But then, an observation must be made. Lawyers in this country are becoming something “GREAT” these days. Can you imagine Wike’s drama in his state, to el-Rufai’s play (I don’t care) attitude towards lives of Southern Kaduna’s people? What of Festus Keyamo’s tirade with the Senate, not too long? Well, the list goes on! I hope Akpabio isn’t a lawyer too?

Akanni, Wasiu Gbadebo writes via akannigbadebowa@gmail.com

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