On the issue of trust part (2)

Last time we began talking about trust.

Trust, these days, is becoming an endangered specie. People have been battered, beaten and bruised by people they trusted and expected more from. Distrust has taken the place of trust.

Where there is no trust or the trust within a group is low cooperation will be a tough task. Lack of trust will breed internal wrangling within the group and competitive jealousy which will greatly hinder the effectiveness of the group. Where there is trust there will be no gossip, backbiting or slander. Rebellion is a sign of lack of trust.

Distrust is a cancer that must be dealt with as soon as the symptoms show up.

“Distrust doesn’t happen overnight. It develops progressively through stages, and if we can recognize these stages when we’re in them, we have a chance of addressing the situation before distrust takes root.

1. Doubt – The first stage of distrust begins with doubt. You start to experience a slight uncertainty about someone’s trustworthiness that causes you to pause just a bit. It might be that nagging doubt in the back of your mind that you can’t seem to dismiss, or something just doesn’t feel right about the situation even though you can’t put your finger on it exactly.
2. Suspicion – Doubt, if unresolved, grows into suspicion over time. Suspicion is belief without proof. You’ve started to see a pattern of behavior that may indicate a lack of trust, but you don’t quite have enough proof to make a firm conclusion. Your trust radar is telling you that something is wrong.
3. Anxiety – The third stage of distrust is anxiety, a feeling of apprehension or uneasiness, that is often manifested physically. When dealing with someone you don’t quite trust, you may may experience nervousness, a rapid heartbeat, anger, a knotted stomach, or even disgust.
4. Fear – At this point in a relationship, distrust has risen to the point where you are afraid to show vulnerability. You have experienced repeated breaches of trust and have grown to distrust another person to the point you are afraid for your emotional well-being.
5. Self-protection – As a result of the fear you experienced, you move into a state of self-protection. You put up walls in your relationship to prevent the other person getting close to you. This act of self-preservation reduces your vulnerability, but also cements the state of distrust in the relationship.” Randy Conley

We must be forgiving and always learn to trust again if we are to be the best we ought to be. Once the person who has broken our trust apologizes we must be willing to give a second chance once we put certain things in place.

• I’II return mission schools to owners in 2019 ― Isiaka

Many times trust is betrayed when we expect too much from people and when we “ overload” them with too much love, respect, attention and time. We must know who deserves what we have to offer and in what quantity and quality.

We must not be ruled by fear. We must build our ability to handle disappointments and never crumble under them. People will always be people so they will do the unexpected sometimes.

We must understand we cannot do without people and to get the best of our relationships trust is indispensable.

Concluded