Making the world a better place for the girl-child

STUDIES have shown that humans generally tend to associate themselves with issues that are relatable; situations that they can imagine themselves being in.  Rape, racism and inequality may not necessarily be relatable situations for the archetypal white man.  However, most people have recently begun to involve themselves in these issues because they realise the magnitude of the problem and see the need to help fight against them. Getting involved is just the beginning of finding a way to make this world a better place for the female child. It is an important factor to be considered in making the world a better place for the female child.  It is often said that charity begins at home. There is also an adage that says one father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. Most parents instill proper values in their children to make them responsible members of the society. For parents to make the world a better place for any child, they have to learn how to raise children. Parents need to lay a solid foundation for their children, thereby making them ready for the world. Parents understand the difference between good behaviour and bad manners and tend to promote the values that are pivotal to human relationships. Good parental guidance often leads to proper child upbringing.

In spite of the importance of parental guidance in a child’s life, there are many children who are deprived of this invaluable help. Their parents may not be physically or psychologically present to give them this form of guidance.  Girls, especially in today’s society, need a lot of parental guidance for the awareness of certain issues, positive and negative, which may promote or retard the progress of individuals. Some concerned people recognise the absence of this guidance in the lives of most girls and feel obliged to help them. Non-governmental Organisations are a great example of social agents that have risen to help make the world a better place for girls.  Media organisations, print and electronic, occupy a preeminent position in the society when it comes to information dissemination and public enlightenment. The manner in which the media projects societal ills that affect girls will determine the response of relevant authorities to such problems.  For instance, the recent death of 26 teenage girls who were drowned while crossing the Mediterranean.  The media presented this devastating news in a way that called for further investigation of the circumstances of their death.

The presentation of issues like suicide, murder, rape and inequality in a manner that demands immediate remedial will unfailingly elicit the attention of the public. It does not matter if the issues are relatable or not; they must be decisively dealt with in order to avoid turmoil in the nation. By telling the citizens of the country that a team can only be as strong as its weakest member, we emphasise the reasons why the problems plaguing a part of the country also affect the whole nation. When a stone is thrown into a lake, it causes ripples across the water and the same goes for our country, Nigeria.

At this point, permit me to ask you two quick questions:  A man and a woman work in a company. One of them is a member of the board of directors and the other is a secretary. Which of them is the secretary? Question two: A man and a woman recently had a child. One of them decided to stay at home to take care of the baby because the other’s job paid more. Which of them opted to stay at home to nurse the baby? For the first question, most of you would probably guess that the woman was the secretary and the man the director. In the second question, several people probably guessed that the woman would stay at home because it was her “heavenly ordained” place to be second to the man. A lot of you might have surmised from the second question that the woman most likely earned lesser than the man. What if I were to tell you it was a trick question then would you change your mind? When analysing different scenarios, I have come to the painful realisation that the society does not just make girls feel inferior to boys, it asserts that their role in the society is one of servitude; it places an invisible barrier ahead of them giving reasons why they cannot achieve as much as the male child. It places a glass ceiling above them which makes certain aims and dreams seem unobtainable.

Society places their impeding hurdles before them making some goals appear unrealistic. They are forced to the unsettling realisation that because they are girls they cannot aspire too greatly lest they forget their natural roles. Hence, men realise their ambitions at the expense of women. The priorities of female children are laid out for them while they are young. They are forced into the retarding belief that they cannot be who they aspire to be because the society says so. Domestic chores as well as responsibilities as a wife and a mother disallow them from getting fulfilment. They are stuck thinking about the “what ifs” and “maybes” of their unattained aspirations. It is not proper to make somebody feel inferior to another person on the basis of their gender. This is what makes the environment unsafe for the female child. I propose that the society abdicates the role it has assumed in deciding what a person deserves or not. I propose that the society ends its dictatorship in the lives of young children. I announce to the people that we end the reign of the tyrant called society and let our lives be influenced by our life ambitions. I submit that once the society ceases to dictate the roles of the genders, a more conducive world for the female child will surely commence.

Recent news headlines prove that girls are more likely to be victims of sexual harassment and assaults.  Again, the society has failed to come up with ways to make the female child feel safe enough to leave the house. The society, however, has succeeded in coming up with reasons why female victims deserve to be sexually assaulted. Society has made up flimsy excuses for the rapists disregarding the fact that they are only giving rise to more brutal cases of sexual harassment. We tell the victims that because they were “indecently dressed”, whatever happened to them was their fault. We make them know that because they were walking home unaccompanied at night, they were asking for sexual assault and that it was the rapists’ duties to have done what they did. Surely telling a 13-year old girl just attaining puberty all these things makes her feel extremely unsafe to leave the house at any time of the day. Sexual crimes will remain unabated as criminals feel they can get away without being punished. Sexual victims who are aware of this unhelpful situation will cower away from seeking justice and sexual offenders will continue to cause havoc. We have duck taped mouths of countless girls around the world because they realise that they just cannot win.

We have given lewd men the opportunity to sexualize the bodies of preteens, teenagers and young girls everywhere. They are told to stay in their houses and be careful of where they go, how they dress, who they speak to and what they say so they do not learn the hard way. So those young girls decide that it is just going to be home-school-church-home for me and they are automatically “safe”. Unfortunately the society does not take into consideration that there may be a weird uncle who requests her to bring his food to his room. The law does not consider that nice family friend that comes with gifts every time he travels to Europe.

• Osunyikanmi lives in Akure, Ondo State.