Life is not unfair

‘LIFE is not fair’ is a statement quickly uttered by someone who has recently been the victim of a misfortune or a series of unfortunate events. In my opinion, life is neither fair nor unfair. Life is really just what you make it. Life is not a person who can sporadically decide to be fair or unfair to human beings. I will concede however that everyone experiences adversity at some point in the process of living life. Being proactive is one of the most potent ingredients needed in the pursuit of a life of success. Lamenting about how unfair life strikes me as a reactive stance to assume. This attitude only encourages the seemingly unfortunate person to relax and let life deal out his sour lemons to him without taking any initiative to do anything about the unfortunate circumstances. I recall the real-life story of Helen Keller, a woman whose life is a lesson in adversity, proactivity and success. If anyone was ever qualified to say that life is not fair, that person would be Helen Keller. Her tenacious life remains an inspiration, and a challenge to everyone who learns about it. To illustrate how unfortunate events can be overcome by being proactive, we shall take a short look into the life of Helen Keller.

Helen Keller was only 19 months when she came down with a fever. It came upon her suddenly, and left her in the same manner. The fever was not paying just a friendly visit; it left her deaf, blind and soon after, mute. Helen however beat these mountainous odds and went on to achieve great things in this same life that is so often accused of being unfair. As a result of her disabilities, Helen had to learn to communicate using sign language. Stop and think for a moment, how did a little girl without the ability to see, or hear, learn sign language? It goes to show her resilient attitude towards misfortune. By the time she was six years old, she had more than sixty home signs through which she communicated with her friends and family. Helen further showed her ingenuity by learning to tell who is who, by following the pattern of the vibrations of their footsteps.

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Thankfully, Helen had a family who cared about the development of her mind regardless of her physical disabilities. Anne Sullivan, a visually impaired instructor was hired by Helen’s mother to instruct Helen. Anne taught her words by spelling the sign symbols into her palm. This remained her chief method of receiving communication signals. At the age of ten, Helen became inspired by another blind-deaf girl who had learned to speak with her mouth. Helen held on to this inspiration and resolved to learn to speak as well. In her autobiography, The story of my life (take another moment to consider the fact that this heavily disabled woman actually authored a book, among 15 others!) Helen relates how she learned to speak by placing her fingers on the visible organs of articulation while a person spoke. This way, she attained a level of speech ability. However, because her vocal cords were untrained, her voice was raspy, and her speech therefore largely unintelligible. In my estimate, she should be applauded for even learning to speak at all, considering the fact that she had not seen lips move, nor heard words spoken since she was barely a toddler. These accounts show that Helen did not simply let life unfairly dump the proverbial lemons on her. She was proactive; she put into life what she wanted to get out of it, regardless of her daunting circumstances.

Not only did Helen Keller refuse to wallow in self-pity, she also advanced her efforts to live as happy a life as attainable. Through her perseverance, she went on to achieve great feats, and set high records in life. She became a renowned writer, lecturer and public speaker and activist.  She did not deny the fact that she had been faced with great adversity, rather she actively outlined every silver lining in her stark reality. She inspired not just hope, but also action. I heard her say in an interview,                                      “It is not the blindness nor deafness that bring me my darkest hours. It is the acute disappointment in not being able to speak normally. Longingly, I feel how much good I could have done if only I acquired normal speech. But out of this sorrowful experience, I understand all human strivings, thwarted ambitions, and the infinite capacity of hope.”

Once again, I was struck by her linguistic competence. It made me realize how I take for granted the natural ability I have to express myself with language. I learned from Helen Keller’s life that being disabled is not the same as being handicapped in the least bit. I learned that blindness is not the same as lack of vision, deafness is not the same as lack of perception, and speech impediment does not amount to unintelligence or inability to express one’s self.  There is no need to be dishonest and deny sometimes, it gets incredibly hard to get by in life, but take heart in Helen’s words. “Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them. But do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness and insight.”  We all have deficiencies that we have to deal with. Some people have it worse than others, but the most important thing is to not let these deficiencies become crippling. Do not take life as it comes, put into life what you want to get out of it. Let your thwarted ambitions inspire hope and insight. Yes, it is easier said than done, but whatever is easier done than said?

Whenever you feel like uttering the lamentation, “ life is unfair!”, take a deep breath and consider what you need to act upon, consider the next line of action and keep out of the shadows by pushing your face to the sun. Remember these words of Myles Munroe; “There is no handicap except that of the mind, and there is no limitation except that which is self-imposed.” Keep these words in mind, believe in yourself, be proactive and always do your best to make the best of a bad deal.

• Idowu is a student of the University of Ibadan.