Let’s talk about rape

Following Busola Dakolo’s rape allegation against Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of Commonwealth Zion Assembly (COZA), there have been countless revelations of sexual harassment in several different sectors, especially in the religious body and entertainment industry. The experiences being narrated on different social media platforms border on criminal acts, leading to calls that investigations be carried out with many anti-rape movements coming up, though most of the crimes were committed years back.

There were various hashtags on the social media used by Nigerians to show grievances and while many also expressed skepticism, asking questions like, “Why now?” What were they doing since?  There are also legitimate questions of what has prompted so many to report past sexual harassment and rape at this period.

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Until recently, the unbelief, accusations, jokes and embarrassment that trailed victims of rape and often, the position of the rapists especially in a patriarchal society like Nigeria had always made it a traumatic experience to speak out, reinforcing the culture of silence. But when Busola Dakolo, a celebrity, decided to speak out about her, experience, people believed her mostly because of her status and that of her husband Timi. And it emboldened other victims to speak up about their experiences and call out those that assaulted them.

Research has proved that the trauma of rape stops many victims from speaking out because they are confused and unable to understand how such happened to them. Also, this is responsible for why their stories seem not to add up because the trauma makes them to second guess and analyse things until the whole incident becomes eerie and victims can’t  put it in sequential order.

Reasons victims don’t speak up immediately after the incident is not only because of the shame or to protect the assailant, but also due to the fact that no one may believe them and rapists count on this; deciding what to do and how to do it also takes time for many. Negative reactions to report and questions like, ‘why did you go to him?. Why were you alone” or ‘what did you wear,” cause additional trauma and often, victims find such reactions worse than the rape incident itself.

Prosecuting a rape case is difficult because people that are supposed to help the victim, especially law enforcement agents usually allow their personal bias to becloud their actions; they make on-the- spot conclusions based on their upbringing, experiences and belief or culture. As first responders, their bias usually undermines the course of justice for victims.

The delay in report of rape cases usually raises suspicion in the mind of people, especially when reports do not tally with preconceived views of what an actual rape looks like. This is due to many misconceptions about rape; it is believed that victims of rape do not know their assailants; that a weapon is usually involved and the victims must not only be hysterical but must also have wounds to prove the act of rape.

But in reality, and based on research, majority of sexual assaults occur between people that know each other and usually, there is no use of weapons, no physical violence is reported while there is also no obvious injury as proof and above all, most victims don’t report immediately or talk about it for years.

In truth, we live in a society where victims are usually held responsible for being raped and often, reports are labelled as false.