Lagosians react differently to whom should make first move in relationship proposals

MIXED reactions have greeted the belief in some quarters that ladies can first make relationship proposals to men.

Some Lagosians on Sunday told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in separate interviews in Lagos that such a move was ungodly and morally wrong while others applauded it.

Miss Stephanie Ezeani, an accountant with a private audit firm, told NAN that culturally, it was wrong for a woman to propose to a man.

Ezeani said that it was not normal to say that a lady paid her husband’s groom price.

She explained that the man would always be the head of the house, while the woman as the neck holds support her husband.

“So it is the man’s responsibility to lead in the family upkeep and the woman to support.

“It is always morally right for the man to propose first in this part of the world, considering our culture,” she said.

Mrs Adijat Olawale, creator of Aniks Clothing and a fashion critic condemned the belief saying that it was against her religion as a Muslim to propose to a man.

Olawale said that proposing to a man decreases the value and respect of a woman before the man she claimed to love.

She explained that apart from the religious angle, Nigeria men were not operating on the same level with men in the western world.

She said that they in the advanced work might not see anything wrong in the lady’s decision to walk up to a man and proposed a relationship.

“Furthermore, such step could be misinterpreted by families and friends as desperation on the part of the lady.”

However, Mr Oluwaseyi Allison, an engineer with a private firm, Cast stones Construction Company, told NAN that there was nothing wrong with a lady taking the first move.

Allison explained that God created men and women equal, adding that both sexes could propose to one another as long as they both love each other.

He, however, advised that if a lady should propose to the man in public, the man should not walk out on the lady to save her from embarrassment.

“It takes special guts for a lady to propose to a man. We should applaud such ladies.

“However, proposing to a man does not mean wedding immediately; it just means 100 percent commitment from the lady.

“And if they are both serious about the relationship, the wedding should not be a problem to them, ” he said.

A physician, Dr Gideon Ogundeyi, said that he could not see reasons why his girlfriend could not propose first if they both understand each other well.

“I am what she wants; that she is proposing does not make me recessive or her being dominant in the union.

“That does not mean she’s going to pick up my responsibilities or me neglecting my duties as the man,” he said.

Ogundeyi noted that for the lady to propose to her man only confirms her bravery and boldness.

“As a matter of fact, these are attributes my lady must possess. She, taking the bold step, will make me appreciate her more,” the physician said.

“It is the man that should see you and tell you he wants you as his babe or girlfriend. Not the lady walking up to him to toast him, ” he said.

A cleric, Pastor Ifeoluwa Enitan of Christ Ambassador Ministry, Surulere, Lagos, admonished singles to always wait on God for their own partners.

“Even the Bible says and I quote, “he who finds a wife finds a good thing” not she who finds a husband; therefore a man finds his woman and not vice-versa,’’ Enitan said.