Breaking Point: The first time I broke down was during a snowstorm in the final days of 2021. It was my first Christmas alone in years and it hit me that I would be alone for New Year’s Day and also miss my daughter’s birthday in January. The COVID-19-related isolation of the preceding months had taken a toll and, simultaneously, I was managing my daily living activities, tackling graduate school as a mature student, and navigating a complicated immigration system so my family could join me in Canada. That morning, I cried so much I didn’t think the pain would stop.
Dr Abdulmalik’s article closely approximates my own experience as a Nigerian professional navigating the mental health challenges faced by immigrants. However, in addition to the concerns during the period of separation, when I reunited with my family I had to “re-learn” how to live with them: sharing my thoughts instead of brooding, co-managing the family more intentionally with my spouse, and understanding that my children’s “new” tone when talking to me wasn’t always a sign of disrespect.
Embracing vulnerabilities
My mental health challenges improved when I acknowledged that my vulnerabilities weren’t a sign of weakness but a first step in defining how I fit into my new community. This realisation inspired three key decisions: first, I sought help from a therapist in my university clinic who gave me practical tools to identify triggers and manage my anxieties (like mindfulness exercises and keeping a gratitude journal). Secondly, I looked for professionals with values and experiences similar to mine. Lastly, I volunteered for community-focused projects where I served others, sometimes folks in more precarious conditions than I was.
Networking and volunteering positioned me for work opportunities and, as many newcomers will tell you, finding satisfactory employment is a major source of anxiety. As a result of all three decisions, I became more socially engaged and found friends who became pillars of support, even to this day.
Finding safe spaces
Like many academic institutions in Canada, mine offered an on-campus, mental health support group and my therapist referred me to one for graduate students. There, I heard inspiring stories of resilience, and this taught me that mental health challenges had a universality that crossed borders, cultures and age groups.
Resilience is a marathon, not a sprint
Understanding that managing my mental health would be a journey rather than a destination helped me become kinder to myself. A Nigerian friend, for whom Canada was the second country their family was trying to make home, told me it could take up to five years before one “starts to feel” like they’re familiar with the cultural nuances and daily living expectations in a new country. I smile writing this, remembering some of my triggers in the past (like upcoming bill payments, test dates or submission deadlines in school and public speaking engagements). For the triggers that still bother me I’ve learnt to proactively plan for them and to ask for help when I don’t understand them. Music has become my refuge and exploring my children’s world, my gratitude-journaling.
Watch what you consume
Two things that have a profound impact on one’s mental health anywhere, not just in North America, are social media and recreational drug use. As a newcomer, social media was initially a conduit for Nigerian gossip, but it quickly became addictive and I would “doom scroll” for hours even when I had tasks to complete. Social media also weaponises misinformation, worsening the anxiety of a newcomer who already feels isolated and vulnerable.
Similarly, unbridled recreational drug use is a threat to immigrants. One can legally buy cannabis in Canada while alcohol (also easy to procure) is an often-underrated substance of abuse among people trying to escape their anxieties. These substances exacerbate mental health challenges with collateral impact on one’s finances, physical wellbeing and relationship with the people who love us.
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Lessons for fellow travelers
- Mental health challenges as an immigrant are valid regardless of your level of preparation or professional success back home.
- You will make mistakes (you’re human!). Be kind to yourself.
- Be proactive, even when you least feel like it because every small step adds to your resilience.
- Find cultural and institutional sources of support.
Looking forward
‘Japa-ing’ isn’t a mere change in one’s location but a profound psychological journey. I’m still building my resilience in the context of migration, and I hope my story stimulates much-needed conversations about mental health among the Nigerian diaspora and encourages other immigrants to seek help when they need it. You will learn something new about yourself when you leave your comfort zone. That experience can make you stronger and give you wings. It can also break you if you lack the necessary support.
Dr Wale Fadare (MD, MHIS), Global health physician, based in Ontario, Canada
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