Is her love for me real?

Dear Yemisi,

I  have this lady I am in love with and I think she loves me too. I am 36 years old but she is 26.  We defined our relationship since the beginning.

I always send her messages to tell her how much I love her and she responds accordingly. Recently, however, she replied to my early morning WhatsApp message to her, thus: “Morning dear. How was the night? You make me smile every time I hear from you. Thanks for making me forget my fears and worries. I hope we live long as a great couple. Thanks for believing in me and I believe you too, my dear. “

This was what she sent to me one morning when she came online. This is inspite of the fact that for the past eight months now, I have been job hunting. She has been supportive. It is not that she gives me money but she always encourages me.

She visited me sometime ago and we had penetrative sex for the first time. Though it didn’t last for more than one minute. Before then, we had been having oral sex but on that day, she forced me to have sex with her. What happened next was that she called to tell me that she had started her period which she ought to have started before we had that sex. She lamented that the flow was particularly different and very heavy. She explained that though her period normally lasts for five days, this particular one stopped on day two and she had serious cramps. I told her I was surprised and asked her to drink warm water. On the night of the third day of the supposed five days period, she said she noticed some spotting.

After that episode, she told me that she discoverd she had been eating more than usual and falling asleep a lot during the day.

Here are my questions:

From the reply I quoted, kindly help me analyse her as woman and also analyse the originality of her love for me? What led to the distortion of her period, the heavy flow and short flow period? Kindly advise me on what you noticed and what you think I should do. I love her.

Akeem,

Dear Akeem,

From what you have narrated, what you need to do with all the complaints your girlfriend had listed is to see a medical doctor to confirm her status.

You have been sincere in your narrative as you claimed you had direct penetration. Whether it lasted a second or five minutes, it may have resulted in pregnancy. This is not the time for you to be shifting blame that you were forced to have sex with her.

It is believed that it takes two to tango. Once, you agreed to her advances into luring you to have sex, then you should be prepared for the consequences.

Asking me to analyse the intention of your girlfriend in her chat to you is not my responsibility. If I chose to analyse her chat, I will be unfair to her. She has chosen to express her feelings for you through that medium, which I believe was her right. From your reaction it appears to me that you don’t trust her, because the question you asked me is uncalled for if truly and genuinely you love her.

From your question, one can safely say that you are not walking your talk. Your girlfriend is the only one in love with you, you are not in love with her. It is better you build your relationship on trust from the onset because of challenges that you will face in future.

If a lady has gone all out to appreciate your feelings for her, why should you now be suspecting her sincerity? You need to check your emotions and commitment. You might be lucky if all the symptoms she described were confirmed to be false symptoms.

In case your fear proved positive and you want to have her as your wife, I will advise if you are of age to  get prepared to formalise your coming together as husband and wife. You need to do the needful.

Akeem, if pregnancy is ruled out and you are still in doubt of her commitment to you, it is better you call it quits with each other so that you can both move on.