Impact of mental health on enjoying great marriage

I have come to appreciate the place of mental health in marriage. I discovered last year July, 2019 during the Ladies of Worth Conference which I held, and during which a renowned Psychiatrist, Dr. Victor Lasebikan, delivered a public lecture on Women’s Mental Health Problems. It was really an eye opener as to how important the mental health of couples is to enjoying a great marriage. In fact, I have come to realize that many marital conflicts leading to divorce and the like, could have been avoided if couples pay attention to their mental health. If we have adequate information about our mental health, we will be able to make our marriages work better. That is why I am dedicating this piece for that purpose, as I lay the foundation for understanding the place of mental health in marriage.

What is Mental Health?

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines mental health as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her potential, and can cope with the normal stresses of life, and can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.

This in the explanations of a United Kingdom based Psychiatrist, Dr. Ayodele Ajayi,  optimal mental health state is when one›s thoughts, emotions, and behaviours allow him or her to function maximally in ability.

Going by this WHO definition, and as explained by the psychiatrist,  mental health of couples is a life wire for marital survival. Not only is the mental health needful for the health of the marriage, it is also important in preventing mental health problems associated with marital conflicts . That is why couples will have to pay great attention to their staying mentality healthy to enjoy a great marriage.

How to ensure optimal mental health

It is to the advantage of couples to ensure that they maintain mental health, and the following can really be of immense help to achieve that:

• Be adequately informed about mental health and mental health problems. It will help you to keep out of the problems as a couple. Ignorance of mental health issue has been creating a lot of problems in marriages.

• Be proactive to any tell tales of mental health problems. That is, be sensitive to any warning sign of mental health problems from you or your spouse, especially your spouse. It will not only help to stay out marital conflicts such as verbal abuse and physical assault, it will also help to seek for help for your spouse.

The truth of the matter is that mental health problems are very common, and are increasing in recent times, according to Dr. Victor Lasebikan. In fact, the World Health Organization states that one in every five persons has a mental health problem. Like someone said in a lighter mood, «many well dressed people have underlying or ignorant or undisclosed mental health problems.» So, we are actually living with ourselves without realising our mental illnesses. Thus, we keep quarreling with mentally sick spouses, instead of nursing them.

It reminds me of what my Honey (that is what I call my husband) said to me about road users. He said he read it in a book, when learning how to drive a car, that other road users must be considered to have mental problems. So, he is expected to take utmost care when encountering them. Is there a lesson there for us as married couples?

Let us arm ourselves about the truth of this revelation about mental health of ourselves, and we will be able to stem the tide of marital conflicts, which are growing by leaps and bound by the day.

Next week, I will bring to our attention the signs to watch out for on the issue of mental health problems. But for now, let us appreciate the fact that mental illnesses are real issues to be dealt with if we must enjoy a great marriage.

References for this write up: women›s mental health problems by Dr. Victor lasebikan

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