I had divine revelation I would marry a pastor —Revd (Mrs) Babalola

Reverend (Mrs) Esther Eghenayarhiore Babalola, who works in the Christian Education Department of the Nigerian Baptist Convention, is the wife of the senior pastor of Union Baptist Church, Ekotedo, Ibadan, Oyo State, Reverend Jonathan Ademola Babalola. She speaks with RITA OKONOBOH on the unique roles of pastors’ wives and the experience of being a woman in ministry. Excerpts:

How did you find yourself in the ministry?

I have always been very active in the church right from when I was single. A time came that I started to have a particular dream, which I could not immediately interpret. At this time, I was the church secretary, and I shared the dream with my pastor at the time and he said God had also spoken to him about it. He said he had a dream and he saw me in the ministry. I asked him for clarification but he said all he could tell me was what God revealed to him in the dream. To cut the long story short, less than a year after that, I got admitted into the Baptist College of Theology, Benin City. The college is affiliated to the Ambrose Alli University, which gives us the opportunity to be awarded the degrees of B.A. and BRE (Bachelor of Religious Education). I got married when I was in my third year and joined my husband who was pastoring a church in Benin City at the time. Six or seven months after, we had the conviction to relocate to Ibadan and after my graduation, we moved to Ibadan.

You received the calling that you would be in the ministry. Did you, at any time, know you would be married to a cleric?

In the beginning, I didn’t know I would marry a pastor. I thank God for the grace to wait. My pastor, at the time, was praying with me, and one day, he told me I would be married to a pastor. There was another woman, whom I regarded as a mentor, although she is late now, and she also revealed to me that I would marry a pastor. The day I went to check the list for admission, while at the board, I located my name and a young man also walked in and while we were chatting, he revealed to me that I would be married to a pastor. I had never met that person before that time. During my third year in college, we organised a ministers’ conference and I was in charge of those who would entertain the participants at the conference, so I was shuttling between where the women were cooking and the venue where the lecture was going on. As I sat down, an elderly man walked in and I saw there was no seat for him, so I stood to let him have my seat. He sat down and he asked for my name. He kept asking me so many questions. In fact, if not because he was elderly, I would have thought he was interested in me. I answered his questions and he said I should see him after the conference. In fact, after the conference, I had forgotten about the meeting because I was so busy. However, he came looking for me and he kept asking me questions. The last question he asked me was if I was married. And he said I would get married to a pastor. It was during that programme I met my husband. In fact, immediately we met, he started taking me round to other pastors, telling them I was the woman he wanted to marry. Then, he said we would go to Ekpoma to see someone. When we got to the church at Ekpoma, it turned out that the man we came to see was the same elderly man who had asked me so many questions at the conference. We were both so surprised.

What would you say is different about being married to a pastor?

It is a call to ministry on its own, regardless of the fact that I am also a trained minister. It is a call to responsibility. As a pastor’s wife, even if you’re not trained as a minister, you must see your husband’s ministry as your ministry, else, success will be very far. It has been very interesting, but not without challenges. You must be humble, without being timid. You must be able to strike a balance, so as not to be seen as being partial. Sometimes, people take it for granted that a pastor’s wife is also human. In all, it has been God and His grace, as we strive to improve on a daily basis.

Some denominations claim that women have no business mounting the pulpit. As a woman and a pastor, how would you react to this?

It is wrong. In the Baptist setting, our belief is that if a woman has been called to training, what stops her from preaching from the pulpit? There are different areas in which women minister in the Baptist convention, both behind and outside the pulpit. Interestingly, there are women who are pastoring churches in the Baptist setting.

You have a rich experience, having waited before getting married, and also waiting for many years before having children. How would you advise young ladies on making marriages work?

No marriage is free of crisis, but they are in various degrees. Seek the face of God, wait and be very convinced you’re marrying the right person. If you allow God to lead you, because God is involved, when challenges come, you will be able to overcome. Age has nothing to do with marriage. Allow God to lead you.

What is the best part about being married to a pastor?

I see it as an opportunity to minister to people. Being a pastor’s wife qualifies you to be involved in your husband’s ministry. There could be instances my husband would need my input. Sometimes, he may not be around and would want me to stand in for him. If you’re not married, you may not have such opportunities. However, it is not a licence to go to heaven.

What would you say is one of the most challenging thingss about being married to a pastor?

People watch you. People want to offend you deliberately just to see your reaction. It makes us conscious and strive that our words match our actions. I keep praying to God for the grace not to disappoint Him.