I can last only two minutes!

Dear Yemisi,

I am a young man of 30 years. The biggest challenge of my sexual life is that I last only two minutes during sexual intercourse.

I am writing you because I believe you can guide me accordingly. I don’t want to take up all these things I read online especially herbal cure.

Thanks for your good works.

Ifeanyi,

Internet.

Dear Ifeanyi,

I appreciate your sincerity in wanting to get out of the problem you are having with your sex life.

From the literatures at my disposal and the findings of psychologists and sex therapists, sexual act is not an activity you engage in while at the same time monitoring the clock and it is one that you cannot determine how long it will last specifically if it happens spontaneously.

Though you have claimed you don’t last more than two minutes, a survey carried out by sex therapists concluded the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse between three and 13 minutes and averagely between seven and eight minutes.

The timing whether brief/ long depends on what you actually set out to achieve; quickie, intense lovemaking or fun/ adventure which rests solely on who you are making love with. Your mindset has a lot to do with the duration of your act. For instance, if you are just having a fling with a lady you are not prepared to settle down with, you cannot be absolutely relaxed out of fear of being caught arms down by your wife or your fiancé.

For you to enjoy your sexual life with your partner and not just any lady, it is advisable you get involved in more of outer course before intercourse in an attempt to increase your arousal level. Give this a trial and never make it a do-or-die of a thing wanting to stay longer.

Though one cannot say that age is no longer on your side as it is believed with advanced age comes shortness of sexual intercourse.

Be relaxed and let the urge come naturally without being mechanical.

If you are still not comfortable with this explanation of mine as I have only reacted based on non scientific proofs, I will suggest you visit a sex therapist as soon as possible.