How to apologise properly

Sometimes, owning up to our faults as humans can be so hard. An apology means taking responsibility for the wrong you have done. 

It is the expression of being remorseful and full of regret for hurting someone.

An apology can be made in an improper way if there is little or no understanding. You could end up ruining the apology.

It is just more than saying the regular ‘I am sorry’ to the offended person. There are things to do while rendering your apology. 

This article will enlighten you on how to properly and sincerely apologize to your spouse, friends, colleagues, and people around you when you hurt them.

1. Recognize your fault and reasons you are wrong

An apology starts with you. You need to figure out the reasons why you are at fault whenever you hurt someone. It is only with this that you come to the realisation that there is a need to render an apology to the other party. 

Spell out why you are tendering an apology in specific words. For example, I used up your battery yesterday without asking. 

This will help the other person understand what you have done wrong.

2. Don’t play the blame game

Trying to put the blame on the other person while tendering an apology will only cause the other party to hurt more. 

Even if you aren’t at fault, you should try not to play the blame game. 

For example saying ‘You are the reason I snapped at you yesterday but I am sorry’  shows you are justifying yourself for the wrong done by putting a blame on the other person. 

3. Admit you are wrong.

This entails admitting to your faults. Owning up to admit that you’ve made a mistake is one of the best ways to apologize properly.

For example, I feel bad for hissing at you at the mall yesterday.

 It is a way of showing that you take responsibility for your actions even if it means accepting the punishment or penalty that comes with it.

4. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings

This is very important when apologising. It is necessary that you take note of how the person feels. Understand how the person feels and as well offer to be of help depending on how the case might be. 

5. Say ‘you are sorry’ genuinely

A lot of people make a lot of errors while apologizing. Adding a condition or ‘but’ to your apology renders it unacceptable. Genuine apology requires being sincere to yourself at first. You must also use simple, sincere and humble words. Your body language and gestures should also align with your apology. Grumbling or murmuring while apologizing shows you are not ready to make up for the hurt you’ve caused.

6. Ask for forgiveness

After saying you are sorry, ask for permission for forgiveness. This just shows you are not making a conclusion on their behalf because you’ve apologized.

7. Take responsibility

To take responsibility means owning up to accept the price and penalty that comes with the hurt or pain you’ve caused.

This might be so hard because it requires you to step out from your ego. However, it will help your partner be aware that you accept your role and aware of your actions. 

8. Give reasons why such won’t repeat itself.

You need to let the other person know that your apology is a promise that you wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes again.

Apologies are meant to restore relationships or friendships. It might take a little while for it to get back to the way it used to be. This is why you should give your best while apologizing for any hurt or pain you’ve caused.

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