Only a few parents are aware that showing favouritism to their children can be hurtful to the other kids. When the other children realize that their parents love and favour one of them, it hurts them.
As a parent, you are not meant to love one kid more than the other. You are expected to love all of them equally.
Having a favourite child can be dangerous for the kid. Hatred can begin to grow in the hearts of the other kids towards the chosen one.
You will be amazed that these kids are quite sensitive enough to know their parents’ favourite without thinking twice about it. Most parents don’t show it obviously, but these kids pick up little gestures and reactions from their parents.
There are ways to avoid showing favouritism as a parent. Below are the things to avoid as a parent.
Comparing your kids with each other can be hurtful. It makes the other kids breed hatred towards the kid you compare them with. Joseph’s story in the bible is a perfect example. Such kids would give up easily on themselves if they realize you can’t be satisfied and if they feel they can’t meet up with the ‘perfect child’.
Every child’s essential needs are love, warmth, affection, and time. To avoid favouritism, attend to your children’s needs equally. Do not prioritize a kid’s needs above that of others. Express your love to each of them fairly without one of them feeling loved more than the others.
Share enough time with them equally and give them listening ears without being biased.
Stepping in to correct a fight between your kids implies that you are taking sides. You make it two against one while involving yourself. You need to be neutral while settling the dispute, correcting both sides without castigating one over the other. This is why parenting takes so much wisdom, especially while dealing with kids.
No older child would love his younger siblings to be used as an example for them to follow.
This means you are implying that you prefer your younger child above your older kid. This could tamper with their self-esteem and view of life.
Out of curiosity and trying to be better than the other person, ask questions from parents on who does better in things than each other. As a parent, you must be fair while judging. Even if the one who does less deserves to be corrected, correct him in a loving manner.
Every child has their own unique abilities, talent, temperament, and other outstanding features. Your kids can never be alike. They would be different no matter how long they stay together. Even identical twins are quite different, and they also take different paths. To avoid favouritism, embrace their uniqueness. Do not favour a kid above others because the kid is smarter than others. Embrace the others without special preference for one. This will help others become better.
Help them see they are important equally and that they fill up a special place in the home.
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