Here’s how to know if your partner will not change

There are some people who have a “coconut head,” and you just know for sure that they will not change no matter how much they are corrected. In Nigeria, to have a “coconut head” means to be stubborn and rigid.

Contents

1. Insincerity 2. Resistant to corrections 3. Shallow minded 4. You are walking on eggshells with them 5. They are impatient during arguments

More than ever before, in a relationship with your partner there is the tendency to disagree with each other seeing that you both are different.

However, there are other things that could create severe conflicts, one of which is that your partner is unwilling to change.

You must have heard people say that relationships require work, even while two people are working on themselves to become better versions of themselves than when they first met.

However, there are pointers to the fact that your partner will not change, no matter how hard you try.

Surprising right? There are people who are not committed to growth like their partner is. They believe that since they are in a relationship, things will align as they have their partner to lean on. They leave their growth to chance, and they do not care. Other times, your partner might be bold enough to tell you that they don’t think that there’s anything to change about themselves.

They go as far as telling you that it’s a privilege for you to be in a relationship with them, and if there’s anyone that should feel lucky, it’s you. So, anytime you try to correct them in love they tell you that you are going overboard, and you’re being extra, as you cannot see things from his/her perspective.

Other times, they just want you to accept them as they are, and overlook their faults. They want you to see their blind spots and look away. Of course, you will not have it since you are given to growth. So, you both give in to disagreements that could threaten your relationship; things could get really ugly if your partner will not change.

They think you are doing too much when you try to set them straight. They feel like you are threatening them when you try to set them straight. So, they get on the defensive, and sometimes try to gaslight you.

How to know that your partner will not change

1. Insincerity

Your partner is insincere in speech and actions. He or she does not come clean most times when it comes to you. They tell a lie at every chance they get, or sometimes tell half the truth to confuse you. They also give ingenuine apologies, and never stop doing the things that they promised to stop doing. The only reason they apologize to you is to silence you and prevent you from expressing yourself.

2. Resistant to corrections

He or she gets angry when you tell them the truth, and deep down in their heart, they are sure that it’s the truth. So, they shout at you or make you look stupid for trying to call them out. This right here is a sign that your partner will not change. You need a partner that would be graceful enough to listen to you when you correct them in love. Your partner is likely not going to change if he or she is in this kind of space.

3. Shallow minded

A person who obviously exposes himself to growth will not think shallow-mindedly. No matter how things get, he or she will always be open to growth. But you need to know that your partner would not change if he or she is aware that they have bad behaviour, and would not change despite being corrected on different occasions. They also want to change you in order for you to conform to the kind of person that they are. They get so comfortable that they never hesitate to settle for mediocrity. In other words, they are too laid-back.

4. You are walking on eggshells with them

Your partner will not change if you keep walking on eggshells with them. How possible is this? When you are walking on eggshells with someone, you will not come out clean when they are doing things that are wrong. When you don’t speak up, how do you want your partner to change?

5. They are impatient during arguments

He or she tells you to your face that you are thoughtless, and that his or her opinions count more than yours. They do not take in opinions with an open mind, so they get riled up because you are not seeing things the way they would love you to. Then they start to act impatiently. Other times, they abruptly change the topic and make you feel like you are clueless. He or she also does not care about how you feel. He or she is impatient and absentminded, so it’s hard for them to show that they care, which in turn makes you feel like they don’t care.

Above all that has been mentioned, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with a partner that won’t change. However, you call the shots; choose wisely.

ALSO READ FROM NIGERIAN TRIBUNE