Five important tips for a happy marriage

DONT neglect your spouse. To neglect something is to fail to pay attention to that thing. And whatever we refuse to pay attention to, we lose. When a couple fails to pay attention to each other, with time, they lose their feelings for one another. Attention is something everyone looks forward to from his/her spouse because it is one of the attributes of love. When you love a person, you give him/her your attention. When you love a thing, you cannot take your eyes off it. Even when you are not where it is, your mind can’t get away from it. Many men pay attention to their cars than their wives, and many women pay attention to their children more than their husbands. When that is the case, you are simply revealing to your spouse that your car/children come before her/him in your order of priority. And many times, that is not what we are saying, we are only wrong in our order of priority.

Don’t take your spouse for granted. To take your spouse for granted is to be so used to him/her that you do not recognise his/her true value anymore and, as a result, do not show that you are grateful for him/her any longer. This is a sin many couples are guilty of and it is one thing that can kill our love for one another. You must learn to appreciate your spouse. Husband and wife must value one another.  Whatever you will not do to her if she was not your wife, you should not do to her now that she is your wife. That she agrees to marry you is not a crime she has committed against you to make you see and treat her now like nobody. And whatever you will not say to him if he was not your husband, you should not say to him because he is your husband. That he chose to spend his life with you rather than somebody else should not make him lose his respect before you. That he/she is your spouse should make him/her deserve an honour you should accord to no one else.

Cultivate friendship with your spouse. Love between a couple is promoted when they cultivate friendship with one another. Do things that friends do: Friends respect one another’s opinion; friends gist together; friends spend time with one another; friends laugh with one another, friends share things with one another, friends relax in one another’s presence, friends protect one another, friends feel safe with one another, friends are opened to one another, etc. The moment a man and a woman are married, they should have no one else as their best friend other than their spouse.

Communicate with your spouse. Communication is one of the bedrocks of a good marriage. Communication promotes love. Every divorce in the law court begins with a breakdown in communication between the couple. Whatever is going on between a couple, as long as they can still sit down and talk it over, there will always be a way out of it. But the moment there is a breakdown in communication and it is not addressed on time, divorce or separation is inevitable. It is important husbands and wife allow for free communication in the marriage. As much as possible, there must be freedom of speech. The degree to which the parties involved are free to express their hurt, displeasure, feelings, opinions etc. is the degree to which their love for one another will grow. Spouses must cultivate a relationship in which there is nothing they will not be able to tell one another.

Make lovemaking something you both look forward to. Your sexual relationship with your spouse plays a very important role in your love life. Sex is God’s own gift to married couple for the consummation of their love for one another. A couple that will remain in love with one another after several years of being married must enjoy great sex. This is because sex serves as a lubricator. It helps to lubricate the marriage against friction. It helps to strengthen the bond between husband and wife. The absence of great sexual relationship between a couple can generate enough friction that can put them apart. That why it is important you do whatever it will take to make you and your spouse enjoy great sex at all times.