Danger of taking your spouse for granted

One issue negatively impacting on marriages is spousal negligence in terms of taking each other for granted. We assume that because we are married, it’s a secured deal that needs no fear of “things fall apart.” So, we sit on kegs of gun powder, with various explosions destroying the very fabric of marital life. The explosions come in various shades of silent treatment, emotional trauma, extra marital affairs, separate living and outright divorce.

The point is that these are avoidable issues if we do all the needful in making the marriage a peaceful bed of love. If we care to give consideration to these areas, which we take for granted in our relationship with our spouses, we will be able to avert most of the highlights of the danger involved in the act of taking each other for granted, as married couples.

 

• Fellowship or Intimacy

Many spouses treat themselves as if flocking together is not a high point in the marriage. So, we spend the whole day apart, and when eventually we hit the house in the night, or whatever time we come back, we hardly have time for intimate talk. If sex happens, it’s a sharp, sharp deal, leaving one spouse with the feeling of being used. Marital intimacy should never be taken for granted, especially by the career driven spouses. When there is a neglect, it gives the neglected spouse emotional torture, which may expose him or her to extra marital affairs, from a person of opposite sex, who may take it upon himself or herself, to give caring attention. Let married couples make it a topmost priority to intimately connect with each other.

 

• Finance

This is another challenging area that couples take each other for granted. When you leave your spouse with picking up all bills, without little or no contribution, you are virtually rendering yourself to be of no value, in the marriage. Even if your spouse, especially the man is financially buoyant to foot all expenses, still find a way of funding certain things in the marriage, if it is only gift items, to appreciate him. Or have you not heard of some wives requesting for money to buy birthday gifts for their husbands? Why? The man is rich enough for delivery, and as such, nothing is wrong if she helps him to spend his money.

Some husbands also take for granted, the fact that their wives have solid financial capability, thus they hardly make financial responsibility their concern in the marriage. They live fat on the wives’ largesse, with impunity. Not only these, issues of borrowing from your spouse without paying back, picking his or her pockets/purses as the case may be, or incurring debts on his or her account, are irresponsible acts, that must be avoided.

 

• Gentleness

When you take for granted, your spouse’s gentle nature, you may make him or her disappear from home, when he or she reaches the breaking point. The truth is that there is a limit to human endurance. Thomas Hardy also wrote in the book, Tess of Durberville, that, ” continual dropping will wear out, even a stone”. I know a husband who made his wife to desert the matrimonial home, due to constant physical assault. He never thought she would dare to disappear, and all entreaties fell on deaf ears. One wife confessed that she crossed the red line severally with impunity, before her husband gave her the red card. What a shocker for her from a man who would not hurt a fly. But, he took his chances with divorce, since he could no longer cope with her.

 

• Sex

Please, couples do not take each other for granted in the area of sex. This is the climax of intimacy, and gambling with too little or too much of it,  is high risk. Married persons, who never thought that they were vulnerable have disappointed themselves, with sexual infidelity. Sexual dissatisfaction is a strong point for extra marital affairs. That your spouse is not complaining doesn’t mean, sex is satisfactory in the marriage. Neither is it fair to ignore the yearning of your spouse for adequate sex. Sex in the marriage must not only be available, it must be readily available and satisfying. Anything contrary to being “readily available and satisfying,”, is an invitation to sexual infidelity.

If we take caution in the above regards, we will do well to avoid the danger of marital neglect. May our marriages succeed.

 

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