Create time for your children from cradle till they get married —Onifade

Justina Omolola Onifade, a retired education specialist with the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), in this interview by TAYO GESINDE, speaks about the need for parents to instill values in their children.

FORAY into education

I attended Muslim Teacher Training College, Randel Avenue Lagos. At that time, we just had to do a year crash programme after which we were posted to schools and after a while, I went for my NCE. I taught for a while then went for my first and second degree at the University of Lagos. I went to do my Masters in Curriculum Studies. After I did my Masters degree, I was still teaching in a  secondary school until I saw an advertisement by UNICEF for an education officer. I applied and luckily for me, I was employed so that was how I became an education officer for UNICEF in 1994. I sat for exams about three times in UNICEF moving upwards until I became an education specialist.

Abba Kyari admits receiving Buhari’s 1961 WASC Certificate from…

What did your duty entail at UNICEF?

I was involved with early childhood education, primary education and adult education. At a time, we were working with the states. We used to develop curriculum with them, monitor and establish community-based early childhood education centres where they had many children but no schools. Where there were schools we could use the school compound at that time, they did not have pre-primary classes in primary schools, so, we established pre-primary classes then, from there we also moved to some local governments at the state level, moving from one state to the other. So, I  was involved in establishing early childhood centres, training teachers in primary schools and also doing non-formal education for those people who were adults and didn’t want to do adult education. I was doing that for years until the programme changed into urban basic services. Later, we started focusing on girl education, making sure that girls go back to school and also helping widows who dropped out of school to learn vocational skills. We worked with the local governments to establish vocational skill centres for women. We did that for another four years.

With your experience, who do you think should be blamed for the quality of education in Nigeria today?

There is a problem at every level. The parents themselves are to be blamed. Some parents don’t even send their children to school. Even when they send these children to school, they don’t buy books, no pen, nothing. If you see a child going to school, just pick that child’s bag that he is taking to school, you will only see a plate of food in that bag, no exercise books, no pencils, nothing and when they get back home, do parents even look at what they did in school? They don’t even think that they should buy exercise books that their children will use in school. Some parents don’t even encourage their children to study at home. After that, you now look at the government, do they provide anything for the children to use? Desks, chairs and so on. Children sit on the floor. Also, many teachers are not trained. We have found teachers in schools, teaching for ten years without training. A lot needs to be done by the government to, at least, provide comfortable environment for the children and then make sure that teachers are trained.

How were you able to combine the home front with your career and academics?

Thank you very much, it greatly has to do with tenacity and encouraging myself that I needed to go to school. I needed to read, I needed to be someone in life. So, when I finished my grade two, I got married. After my marriage, I told my husband that I was going for NCE. I had to leave the house then, it was in Ijanikin College of Education, Lagos State. Thank God for my husband, who believed in what I believed in and allowed me to go. He always stayed at home with the children. I had two children then and my mother was helping me take care of them. I was teaching, I was a mother and I also did lessons. So there was no time to play or even  relax.

So what advice do you have for women who are still trying to juggle the two together?

Yes, it is not easy to be a career woman and be good at the home front too. There will be one problem or the other. You must have a husband that understands you. I give kudos to my husband because I told him I wanted to go back to school and he did not disturb me. If you want to combine your career with the home front, you have to discuss with your husband. You need his support to be able to juggle the two successfully.

How do you think you can raise godly children in this day and age?

It is difficult but with God all things are possible. Train your children in the way of the Lord. If you don’t want your children to tell lies, you should not tell lies. If you want children to learn, don’t always put films that the only thing they watch is  “babalawo (fetish things).” That is not what they need now. There are educative videos and instructional materials that children can learn ABCD. Monitor the things they watch. If you are watching a programme for mature people, you have to either stop it or take the children away from there when you are watching it. My advice to women is that they should not neglect their  children because of their career. Some women put children who are two, three years in boarding schools. There are values which only you can instill in your children. We are the Bible that  our children read. We are their first Bible. If you train them in the way of the Lord, they will develop and they will not depart from it. Then you have to control their social media usage and the kind of programmes they watch too. Be friends with your children  and they will tell you everything. Encourage your  children  to tell you anything so you will know how to advise them. But, if we are not always home, they don’t see us, not to talk of talking to us, they  will talk to friends instead and friends will mislead them. Create time for them from the cradle till they get married. We see a lot of suicide notes where children complain of lack of affection or attention from their parents. It is our duties  as mothers to make sure that our children are very close to us, that we are  constantly  talking to them, advising them and showing them what is right and wrong. And also pray for them.

What advice do you have for single ladies?

They should have their friends as their husbands and not make money a priority. A lot of them want Olorunsogo  not Surulere.  They  want to visit the man’s house to find out how rich he is. Seek the will of God;  talk to people or ask your pastors to pray for you. Also ask God. Sometimes, men can make women’s lives miserable. So,  if you don’t want anyone to make your life miserable, you need to hold yourself, you need to pray. God will help you to choose the right person for you. Surround yourself with morally good friends who can pray for you and help you. If you’re faithful to God, He will also be faithful to you. He will make sure that you don’t go astray and that’s the most important thing.