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Counting our blessings

GRATITUDE, it is a word we use regularly but rarely do we take the time to meditate on what it truly means. The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness, depending on the context. According to Harvard Medical Health, gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. Usually it involves acknowledging the goodness in our lives. Yet too often we postpone our sense of gratitude. In a world full of so much pain and suffering, a grateful attitude can change the way we view our lives. After all, it is often said that life is ten per cent what happens to us and ninety percent what we do about it. A grateful heart is a joyful heart. I recently came across a new country song that reminded me of how important it is to count my blessings, the song “Getting Good” by Lauren Alaina. The song begins with the lines, ‘Once I fall in love then I will be happy, then I fall in love and there is still a hole’. And the verse ends with the words, ‘Once I learn to grow right where I am planted, maybe that is when life starts getting good’.

Those words really hit home for me because it is so easy for me to always want something else before I can be happy. In fact, my whole life has been about getting to the next phase and getting this or that before I can be happy but when I eventually get to that phase, I realise I want something else. This whole year has been a race of happiness that never really came. For instance, at the beginning of the year I wanted a new phone and I saved a lot of money to get the phone and now I finally got the phone but I want a better case, a better memory card and the list goes on and on. Yet, if I do not stop and appreciate what I do have right now, I might miss out on being happy right where I am. Changing my attitude towards life could definitely improve my life.

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In a research carried out by two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics. One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation. This research shows that gratitude can scientifically make us healthier and who does not want to be healthy?

Taking the time to count your blessings even if it is just a little time each day can make you happier, less stressed and healthier. Gratitude have also been said to improve relationships. Like the Yoruba adage says, ‘It is the person that is thankful for yesterday that will get something else tomorrow’. So once you are grateful, people will be drawn to you and feel inclined to do more for you. For example, a study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship. Gratitude creates an enabling environment for a deeper relationship and a deeper relationship allows for honest conversations. In fact, grateful people are better friends, sisters, mothers, husbands and wives. They are happier people and there is nothing better than spending time with a positive person, it brightens up your life.

Gratitude not only improves personal relationships but also professional relationships. When employers say ‘thank you’ to their employees, they are more inclined to do more in the workplace. They are ready to put in their best because they are sure that they will be appreciated for it. As humans, we all want to be loved, to be appreciated and to be seen. Gratitude helps to take the attention from us to the other person and when that happens, the receiver will also be willing to do that much more in return. Gratitude can revolutionize our lives, it can improve the very essence of it. I want to be happy, healthy, enjoy beautiful personal relationships and have great relationships at work and that starts with counting the blessings I already have. It starts with realising just like the song says that ‘my life is already good’ and so is yours, if you would just take the time to pause, reflect and count your blessings.