Intimacy

Checks to put in place against infidelity

Infidelity is fast becoming the norm rather than the exception in this generation. It’s so alarming because it’s happening among people who ordinarily should avoid it like a plague. The unfortunate thing about this is that many such innocent people, especially wives, are caught in the web. Pastors and pastors’ wives, virgins at the point of marriage, avowed unrepentant believers in marital chastity, etc., are all caught in the web.

This is why I dedicate this piece to looking at what makes people victims of infidelity, and how to avoid becoming its victim.

If we must avoid being victims of infidelity, we must take cognizance of the following:

Don’t look inside the bush so that you will not see shit

Don’t go near any act that can lead you into infidelity. Some people didn’t bargain for what they met, while not minding their business. They were just trying to be nice, and before you call Jack Robinson, they are neck-deep in infidelity.

I remember an incident involving two married people. They were connected through a wrong call, and before you knew it, the man started flirting, asking for a physical meeting. The woman knew she was married with children, and she did the right thing by breaking the communication line.

That’s how not to look inside the bush, so that one will not see shit. Avoid anything that can lure you into infidelity.

Don’t smell what you won’t eat

Never walk aimlessly in its corridor ─ otherwise, you will not only eat it, you will become a promoter of it. You’re not interested in infidelity, but you are keeping company with someone of the opposite s3x, in the name of being friendly. My friend, you will have yourself to blame at the end of the day. Why follow him or her to eat shawarma when you are not ready for an infidelity flight?

Doing so is boarding a plane for the infidelity act. You don’t want to sleep with her, but you are always hanging out with her. What do you think will happen at the end of the day?

*Never think you cannot become a victim of infidelity.

The most vulnerable people are those who tell themselves they can’t be a victim of infidelity. The truth of the matter is that holding such a view makes one easily susceptible to it. It makes one not be on guard against it. You think you are strong, but indeed you are weak.

Like it’s said biblically, “Can a man carry fire and his clothes will not be burnt?” Never. That’s why you shouldn’t tell yourself that you can’t be a victim. Many people who said that in the past are now nursing the injuries sustained. Others, not so lucky, are in the grave.

Avoid keeping the opposite s3x as a close confidant. When your best friend is a person of the opposite s3x, you are already taking a stroll on the adulterous path. It’s a matter of time, and the flame of the infidelity fire will engulf you. You won’t escape it.

I can tell you for free, many wives regret following that route in life. Many husbands are likewise counting their losses. The mind is deep, making it easily susceptible to emotions running wild. There is a thin wall between right and wrong. Only the watchful eye escapes crossing to the wrong side.

Avoid being alone in secluded places with the opposite s3x

Keeping an opposite s3x person’s company in a lonely environment is an invitation to the infidelity game. You’ll live to regret it. It’s the simple truth that you can’t afford to ignore or take for a ride. It’s too risky an adventure to embark on as a married person. It’s like picking your nose with the head of a snake. How do you want to live to tell the story?

Avoid discussing your marital challenges with an opposite sex person in your space

It’s unhealthy and makes you vulnerable. Don’t make the shoulder of an opposite s3x person the one to lean on in a time of marital crisis. You’ll not live to tell the story without regret. If you need counselling in your marriage, look for professionals of the same s3x. It’s safer, and the risk involved is minimal.

Don’t allow your marital conflict to fester

Resolve your marital conflict quickly. Put in place a plan that helps you to resolve marital conflicts almost immediately. Allowing it to fester is an invitation to infidelity. It creates a vacuum that infidelity can fill up. So, as much as possible, avoid having a festering conflict. It makes room for infidelity. Stop keeping malice. Rather, discuss it to fix it.

Put checks in place in your relationship with the opposite s3x

Set boundaries in your relationship with the opposite s3x. The major challenge some people have is that they don’t have checks and balances in place to keep them at bay with the opposite s3x. Without checks, one will plunge headlong into infidelity. I can tell you that for free.

Sweet-tonguing by the opposite s3x should be detested and resisted

Don’t let him or her patronise you. Once he or she starts, shoot down the adulterous words. Don’t let him or her flatter you into infidelity. If you aren’t careful, a handshake between the two of you will pass the elbows aimlessly. Then, you’ll live to regret it.

I believe a word is enough for the wise.

You can avail yourself of copies of my books, ‘Enjoying Great S3x Life’ and ‘How To Help Your Wife Enjoy S3x’. Contact 08112658560 for details. SMS only.

Bosede Ola-Samuel