Can you marry someone your family members arranged for you?

Olamide Williams
I think marriage requires a lot of thinking. It is a lifetime commitment. One has to be careful when choosing a partner. Arranged marriages are not ideal in many ways. In fact, it is a practice  against the consent of either parties that should be eliminated at all costs. It restricts a person to a lifetime of possible emotional and/or physical torture. I usually do not allow restrictive situations to limit my options. Of course, I might be a bit annoyed at first if this is proposed to me by my parents. However, if I am attracted to the person, I would definitely be curious to know more about him—on my own terms. It is unfortunate that many people are still being forced into arranged marriages.

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Olatunde Hawwau

As long as I like him, I would give it a shot. We should note that love is just a foundation to make a relationship work out. So, if I like him and he is ready to make it work out, it is a Yes. I would go for it.

Chisom Nnabuihe

No. I feel before you could marry someone you should have known the person for a while. Also, you should know the person well enough since you are the one going to stay with the person for the rest of your life.No one should choose for you.

Thompson Helen

The rate at which the world is developing has brought a lot of changes and modification to our lives and ways of living, especially in the African society. Over the years, people have learnt to be independent and to also make decisions on their own.These social changes transcend to a lot of areas. I believe that I am the custodian of my own happiness. I believe that God gave me free will. So, I cannot marry someone my parents choose for me because even if they trained me from birth, they have limited knowledge of what gives me fulfilment especially in the area of choosing a life partner. I want to marry someone that I could consistently love despite all odds, knowing that I chose him and accepted to marry him and was not compelled to do so.

Belema Philips

My answer is No. It would take a long time to love such a person. And,  if I do, it would not be as the person I met myself and I am attracted to. An arranged love cannot equal a natural love.

Bolujoko

It depends on the relationship you have with the so-called family members. If your relationship with them is okay, you might consider trying it just for their sake. But, if it is otherwise, it is a No for me.

Gift Jimoh

Yes, I could. If he has the qualities I want in a man, why not? Also, if the wedding is not going to happen almost immediately—at least we need some time to familiarise ourselves.But, if otherwise, I would not try it. This is because I would want to know and understand who I am getting married to.

Laff Iju

One should come to a point in life when he/she decides what he/she wants.The choice of who to marry is one of the choices of life that should not be toyed with. There is, therefore, no point trying to please your family members by accepting to marry someone because they said so. The initiator of marriage himself [God] already states it clear that “he that finds a wife, finds a good thing”, not him that his family members find a wife for. A lifetime journey, like the journey of marriage, should be voluntarily ventured into by the parties involved. It is pertinent to, first of all, build trust, love and understanding before going into marriage. These virtues cannot be obtained very easily from an engagement/marriage that is arranged.

Farida Sanusi

My answer is No. Marriage is a personal decision. They can guide me, but they cannot pick for me. I should be free to pick who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Adesola Adepoju

Yes, I can as long as he possesses the qualities I want a in a guy. This is because you cannot know the taste of the stew just by looking at it. I would just request my parents to let us get to know each other before going far with the relationship. Even if people think it is a waste of time, I would rather waste the time in the process of knowing such a person than wasting my life in the marriage.

Akingbade Oluwanifemi

It is a matter of choice.But, for me, it would not work. My parents should not or cannot decide for me. I am the one that would live with him not them.

Olaniyi Samuel

People marry for different reasons, for wealth, power, politics,or religion. I believe, as humans, we love when we want to love. We love wherever and whoever we find love in. One marries where he/she finds “true love”. So, if I found love in a girl, I would walk down the aisle with her.

David Olowoleye

As obsolete as this may sound, it is a song only the wealthy ones sing. My parents never made such a decision for me.And, I see no reason why I should deprive my child of his right to pick who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. It is a No for me.

Yinka Animashaun

For me, this is a No. But if they introduce him and we end up liking each other over a period of time, it is a Yes. But, if not, it is a yes. They cannot force me to marry someone I do not like.

Maryam Adeniyi

It depends. I could if I do not have someone  I am in love with at that moment and they give me time to discover the person before the conjugal bliss. There may not be enough time to understand such person completely, but if we are comfortable with each other and completely on board with the marriage, why not? If otherwise, I would bow out.

Sandra Nwabuani

The world changes, and every age adds a luxury to the list of  acceptable things in the society. However, while there is freedom, I would meet the man, try to know him, and try to find out if he is someone I could love and like. But in a situation where I am marrying him because my parents picked him for me, does not make sense. I have to court him and know if I could live with him. There is no big deal in your parents asking you to marry a man. But, obviously, there is something wrong when they force you to.