Can I have a date at 17?

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8 years ago

Dear Yemisi,
I am a 17-year old-girl. I am an undergraduate in a Nigerian university.
Is it right that I start having a boyfriend now?
Anonymous Girl.

Dear Anonymous Girl,
That you are an undergraduate now does not give you the freedom to start to have boyfriends, though lover/boyfriend are two words that are often misused.
I am sure that you are referring to having a lover. It is not a sin to have friends in the opposite sex because you cannot afford to be an island to yourself. Even if you are a loner, your male colleagues cannot but interact with you on the campus.
You have asked the right question in the sense that you have to first of all understand what you are actually gunning at. I will say yes and no. Yes, if you know where to draw the line and no if you are the easily carried away. Having a boyfriend should not be seen as an avenue for you to lose every sense of integrity by saying yes to every proposal without weighing the consequence of your action.
Having a boyfriend is synonymous with having a bedmate in your understanding. Embarking on such a mission at your age might be suicidal if not handled with care. It will be safer at this stage of yours to have both male and female friends as casual friends without strings attached. Making a lifetime commitment at this stage of your life is not likely to gel.
All you can do is to keep yourself from being contaminated by any lover for now. It is all distraction. You will lose focus, spend and be spent, and be exposed to all forms of temptations that might abort your dream of a better tomorrow.
Why can’t you befriend your studies first and learn how to do a thing at a time? At the right time, nobody will prompt you before you know who to accept as yours. The age at which you are is a very delicate one that you must be guided that all that glitters is not gold. There will be pressures from within and from friends alike, but you must handle your life with care.
Peer pressure will be so intimidating that if you don’t develop being your real self that you will succumb to advances, but always remember that you are sent to the university for a purpose. Never abuse the independence that you have.