Breaking free from societal expectations: A guide for aspiring women

Society often tells women where they should be, what they should prioritize, and even how much they should dream. These expectations—whether around career, family, or the balancing act in between—can feel overwhelming and stifling.

Yet, the truth is that women’s potential is limitless, and their ambitions are just as valid and achievable as anyone else. It’s time to push past these constraints and step confidently toward our aspirations, embracing both our personal and professional identities.

Understanding Societal Expectations

For many women, societal expectations can start to feel like unwritten rules. These can range from assumptions about who should handle household duties to the belief that family should always come first—even at the cost of personal dreams. Often, there’s an innuendo/entanglement that ambition conflicts with femininity, that a successful career can make one “less of a woman” in some eyes/quarters.

Such pressure might cause self-doubt or make one question the legitimacy of their goals. Sometimes, the lack of support can stem from close family members or spouses who feel uncomfortable with a woman’s achievements.

These expectations, though deeply ingrained, are not truth; they are limitations subtly imposed by others. Recognizing them as such is the first step toward breaking free.

The Burden of Expectations

The weight of these societal burdens can take a toll on women’s mental and emotional well-being. Constantly navigating between what others expect and what one truly desire can create stress, anxiety, and self-doubt. The pressure to meet everyone’s expectations can lead to burnout and discourage women from seeking leadership roles or new opportunities.

This internal conflict often forces women to make difficult choices between personal growth and familial acceptance. But the key to breaking free lies in understanding that these pressures don’t define a woman’s worth or her capability to achieve greatness.

Overcoming the Burden

Overcoming the burden requires our understanding of the following principles:

Firstly, cultivate Self-Belief: Believe in your vision and validate your ambitions yourself. Building self-confidence means knowing your goals are legitimate and worthwhile, no matter how others perceive them.

Seek Allies and Mentors: Surround yourself with people who champion your journey. Having mentors or allies who understand and support your ambitions can be transformative. They offer encouragement, practical advice, and, most importantly, a reminder that you’re not alone.

Set Boundaries with Confidence: Don’t be afraid to prioritize your goals. It’s okay to say no to obligations that conflict with your professional journey and dreams. Setting boundaries can help you maintain focus on your aspirations without feeling guilty.

Communicate Openly with Partners and Family: Engage in open and honest conversations about your goals with those closest to you. Explain what your career means to you and ask for their support. Often, understanding and support can come from simply communicating your intentions clearly.

Redefining Success on Personal Terms

Success doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. It’s easy to be influenced by society’s rigid definitions, but true success comes from achieving what feels meaningful to you.

Whether you’re aiming to reach the highest ranks in your career or simply seeking a fulfilling balance between work and home, defining success on your own terms is essential.

As women, every step we take toward achieving our goals is a stride forward for those who come after us. By rejecting imposed definitions, limitations and restrictions, we empower future generations to see that their dreams are equally valid and within reach.

So, to every woman reading this—let no one convince you that your dreams are too ambitious or that your career must take a back seat. Embrace the challenge, push beyond the limitations set by others, and believe wholeheartedly in your own capabilities.

Each step you take is not only a victory for yourself but a beacon of hope for countless women facing similar challenges. Stand tall, pursue your dreams, and redefine success for yourself and the generation of other women who follow in your footsteps.

Olabisi Atanda
An Assistant Superintendent of Corps of the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC) and Former Public Relations Officer

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