Before saying ‘I Do’, these 10 conversations are essential

Marriage is more than just a romantic union, it’s a partnership built on communication, mutual understanding, and shared values. 

Before saying ‘I do’, it’s important to have deep and honest conversations that help both partners align their expectations and avoid potential future conflicts. 

Discussed in this article are ten key areas to have conversations with your partner on before walking down the aisle.

1. Faith and Values

Matters around faith and values are a critical conversation to have with your partner before saying ‘I Do’. Discuss your core beliefs, religious practices, and moral values.

Ask genuine questions such as: Are your spiritual lives compatible? How will you raise children, if any, with regard to faith? What values are non-negotiable for you? etc. Understanding each other’s worldview with regards to faith and value is crucial for long-term harmony.

2. Family and Children

Another key aspect to talk about is family and children. You should talk about whether you both want children, if yes, how many, and when. 

Also, discuss parenting styles, discipline methods, and your relationship with extended family. Boundaries with in-laws should be clearly defined to avoid issues in the future.

3. Finances

Money is often one of the leading causes of marital conflict. Before saying ‘I do’, ensure you have conversations around your income, debts, spending habits, and financial goals. 

Are you a spender or a saver? Will you have joint accounts or keep things separate? 

Talk about responsibilities like rent, feeding, bills, school fees, and also long-term goals like building a house or starting a business. Don’t assume – be clear.

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4. Career and Ambitions

Career and ambition are another critical conversation. Are you both career-driven? Will one person stay home if kids come into the picture? Are you open to relocating if one person gets a job abroad or in another state? How do you balance work and family? 

Supporting each other’s ambitions strengthens the partnership.

5. Communication and Conflict Resolution

Every couple argues, but how you resolve conflict matters. Some people need time alone, while others want to talk immediately. 

Before saying ‘I Do’, talk about how you both handle disagreements, what triggers frustration, and your expectations during arguments. Discuss how to handle disagreements respectfully without insults or walking away. 

You should also consider learning each other’s communication and apology languages.

6. Intimacy and Physical Connection

Sexual compatibility and expectations around intimacy should be discussed openly before saying I do. Be honest about your needs, boundaries, and how you want to keep the spark alive as the years go by.

7. Lifestyle and Daily Habits

From sleep routines to diet preferences and cleanliness, everyday habits can impact your relationship. 

Talk about your lifestyle preferences and routines, as ignoring these little things can result in big issues in the future. 

8. Roles and Responsibilities

In this part of the world, there are traditional expectations. Will the wife cook and clean? Will the husband handle all the bills? Or will you share responsibilities based on what works best? Agreeing on this early helps to prevent any of the parties from feeling overburdened or unappreciated.

9. Friends and Social Life

How social are each of you? Do you enjoy having friends over, or do you prefer a quieter home? 

Having a conversation and understanding each other’s social needs helps strike a healthy balance in marriage.

10. Future Dreams and Life Goals

Before saying ‘I Do’, you need to have conversations around your future dreams and life goals.

Where do you see yourselves in 5, 10, or 20 years? What do you both want from life?

Talk about your dreams, ideal lifestyle, retirement plans, and what “success” in marriage means to each of you.Having these conversations may not always be easy, but they’re essential for building a strong, intentional foundation for your marriage.