Getting married is a big deal. Getting married is not about the wedding alone, but the marriage that will last a lifetime. Marriage is a journey, and it is preferable to have a clearer view of the path you are about to embark on. To have a clearer view, couples should explore some issues confronted by almost all married couples.
Every couple should discuss this end. By having these conversations, you can be sure you are going into your marriage with the understanding of your partner’s desires and hopes which will make for a happy and beautiful marriage, not just a beautiful wedding.
These are some of the important things couples should discuss.
One of the leading causes of divorce is financial issues. Couples should discuss if they are going to join their finances or not. If they are going to join it, they should discuss how they will join it as well.
Every current debt and spending habits should be disclosed. Couples should also discuss if they will share joint credit cards and bank accounts. They should also discuss if income from all sources will be combined.
Other important things to discuss under finances are, savings, investing, each partner’s contribution to purchasing a home or car, long-term financial goals, and lending money.
It is also good to know about your partner’s financial history, financial goals, and spending habits.
Most people get married assuming they know their partner’s thoughts on parenting, so they don’t discuss this but let it slide.
Couples may bring different experiences to the marriage because parenting styles are most times based on an individual’s upbringing. Exploring a few topics on child upbringing will be a great idea in cases like this
Couples should discuss the number of children they want to raise and how soon into the marriage they want to have them. Couples should also discuss these topics under parenting as well. If discipline is going to be enforced jointly or just by one parent? If daycare will be acceptable, while both parents work or one parent will become a stay-at-home parent. If health issues prevent pregnancy, will adoption be an option or would you prefer to have no children?
Religion plays a large role in your lives as a couple. Interfaith marriages can be very challenging especially when children come into the picture. Your religious views affect how you address certain issues.
If you observe different religious practices, will your spouse not sharing your religious beliefs be a source of tension? How will that affect a child’s upbringing? If one partner regularly attends church and the other doesn’t, how will it be resolved after marriage or when children come into the picture?
How household chores will be handled is another thing worth discussing. Both couples might have different upbringing experiences.
If one spouse comes from a family where the house chores are the duty of the children while the other comes from a family where house chores are majorly done by the house help, this may lead to conflicts and that is why it is important to discuss it. Discuss how chores in the house will be done or shared. Discussing this issue will prevent tension that might arise about home organization and cleanliness.
Your love languages should also be discussed before marriage. Your partner needs to know how to make you feel most loved. Many marriages end because of a lack of communication on issues like this.
Most times we express love the way we want it for ourselves and not the way the other person wants it to be shown. By communicating with your partner on this issue, you find out what their love language is early enough.
While you can’t predict all the issues that can arise in marriage, you might have to deal with most of the topics above at some point in marriage. Don’t always assume your future spouse is in sync with your plans. Discuss these topics. By discussing, you create a foundation on which you can build your relationship.
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