THE world we live in today has placed before us many dynamics that remain a mystery yet understood. One of such is our preferences as human beings. As much as twins are birthed from same womb, their preferences differ. This dynamism is also found and applicable in relationships and marriage, where partners from different backgrounds come together to be one. The couples’ diverse backgrounds result in different sexual experience, taste and orientation and exposure. Thus, the overarching question is, should this stop their union even when they have other incompatible traits?
For example as a conventional sex partner, would you accept a date/relationship/marriage with a kinky partner and how would you cope with such partner?
Definition of term : Conventional sex partners are people who engage in our everyday kind of sex such as the missionary style which is believed to be the natural order.
Kinky partners are partners who involve or like unusual sexual styles and behaviours such as fetishism, paraphilia etc.
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert said on the issue:
Birds of a father flock together. Two cannot walk together except they agree. Entering into a relationship with a kinky partner is a potential time bomb. The unusual sex orientation may just be a tip of the iceberg to the weird behavior of the person, which might cause irreparable requires damage to the union.
Taking such step, take communication between both parties and their readiness for the journey psychologically. For me, I sat my wife down and we discussed our sex life which we reached a consensus on. Also, stern counselling would be needed in such relationship to reveal facts about their sex life and how effectively they can match because sex is inevitable in marriage.
Coping with a partner with a different sexual orientation – All that will be involved is understanding, counselling between the two ( male & female). The purpose of relationship & partnership will be discussed by the two, merits & demerits; X- rayed and all this will form the basis of unison. Counseling of the two will form the basis for togetherness.
I believe that having a partner is in the first instance deemed to be backed up by informed choice. Sexual orientation is built based on the kind of social relationship one kept in the past, so, as partners, they should learn to respect each other’s interests.
Again, partners should learn to grow with a new sexual orientation: sacrificing what they may have learnt before; after all, they should be one they should read each other like a new book; all other contents in books read in the past should be forgotten.
Sexual desire is aroused in human beings at the age of puberty. At this stage exposure of the concern persons either by the community, parental or peer group influences their decision or their urge for same. Its expected that while choosing your partner, each and everyone understands his or her system beyond their spouse but when in relationship with someone whose urge for the sex is above yours, there›s always solution to everything that’s why there are sex toys to save the marriage from collapse.
Coping with people with different orientation generally involves having effective communication with them to know their views regarding the orientation they have and the diversity with ours. To cope with a partner having a different sexual orientation with mine requires wisdom and effective communication with him. The first thing to do is to know the differences in such orientation with mine, afterwards inquire more to know the reason behind such orientation as it could be due to family background, environment or childhood experiences.
Lastly is balancing his orientation with mine by understanding from his own perspective as understanding between two partners enable them to cope with any differences
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Would you marry a person who has a complete sex change?
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