MARRIAGE requires strong financial base for couples to achieve bliss. Trials and challenges shake marriages. In most cases, both or either have a support system to cater for their needs via their chosen careers or businesses. However, career and marriage are on different pedestals and they call for different levels of commitment. Careers have a time frame while marriage is forever. With this in mind, would you accept to end a blossoming career for your marriage?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our experts say on the issue:
Behind every successful man, there’s a woman and it’s good to lead by example but it is very dangerous to take irrational decisions. As for me I will not accept to end a blossoming career for marriage. My career is who I am and accepting to end my blossoming career for my marriage is like going back to zero. Marriage is supposed to be a backbone and a reflection of one’s successful career.
Money and love sustain marriage and no sane partner will settle down with partner without career. I won’t.
I will never end my marriage to pursue any career. Especially when children are involved. The fact is that you can never be happy leaving your family behind to pursue a career, unless you are selfish.
I will never do that for any reason. My man has his reason for marrying me, I also have mine and we have obligations to our family, most especially our parents. But, if he can provide all I need and fund my account with N10 – 20 million, why not?
Career is about dream and passion not the money par se. I will have to weigh the pros and cons because I’m a product of a family and my parents too are looking forward to eat the fruit of their labour in their old age.
I don’t pray to have issues with my marriage, but if it happens, I have no option than to leave my career to save my marriage. After all, family is life.
I wouldn’t for anything on earth want to end my career for my marriage. I will give my marriage and career the attention they require. If after giving my best to my marriage and my hubby still asks me to quit based on his own assumptions or insecurity, then I’d rather go with my work than being a liability to myself and my generation.
Showunmi Rofiat Similoluwa
I can’t just throw all I’ve built to the wind. It’s absolutely irrational. Any spouse who asks for this isn’t good for my well-being. Unless it’s a career I had planned to leave before. With the attitude of men nowadays, any rational woman would know that as important as marriage is, it’s more important to have a source of income. “What if…?” Men respect women who are independent.
Sometimes, marriage is not worth the stress. I’m unapologetic about this. An abusive or insecure one could be frustrating. What if a spouse dies?
Marriage takes a whole lot and career too but to what ends does each serve? For a career once you’re sacked, you’re finished no matter how blossoming it was. But marriage is not about you alone; rather you’re building a nation and laying a proper foundation for your offspring. Building a happy home needs time, love, care, understanding and a whole lot more. Career needs you to sharpen your professionalism and once you are short of that, no sentiment attached, you’ll either feel useless or be made useless. Marriageis a lifelong thing; career is not.
Kemi Akinbobola, a marriage counsellor is our expert on this issue. Marriageis expected to flame your gifts and dreams. Building a career is not a day’s task, it requires years of sacrifice to get to that point you are known and seen. Marriage is beautiful, but its not the ultimate goal in life. Marriage won’t give you all the satisfaction you desire in life. If the career gives you a sense of fulfilment, why should you give it up for your marriage? If you’re going to give your career up for your marriage, you should get more fulfilment and satisfaction from that marriage than what your career can give you. If not, it will be selfish of any spouse to cajole or force his or her spouse to give up his/her career for a marriage that is not worth it.
Another question is, are you giving up your career to join forces with your spouse to do something exceptional in the name of the marriage? What if the marriage fails or one of the partner dies, what are you left with?
In case of any eventuality, you should have something to fall back on. If your career gives you joy, don’t send your spouse into depression by asking them to quit. One person should not suffer to make the marriage work. A working marriage should be a conscious effort of both parties. A one-sided effort will lead to frustration. And what if it’s the blossoming career that puts food on the table? It will be foolish to give up such a career, the marriage needs the money produced from that career. On a second thought, if quitting the job is to reunite with your family or spouse in another country or state, it is worth it. Marriage is meant to bring family together. Homes where couples live apart don’t usually flourish. God created marriage for couples to live together. Couples should find a way round it to balance things up, marriage and career have their place, one should not be allowed to suffer for the other.
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Would you allow an opposite sex massage your spouse?
Join our WhatsApp Conversation every Sunday by 8pm or send in your comments (50 words) to the phone number, email address above or Twitter handle: @WhatsAppConvs