THE past weeks had seen us focus on marriage proposal. Last week, we had the men speak on accepting the lady’s marriage proposal. This came with mixed reactions and affirmation from some while giving reasons why they would take such action.
It is not new that the lifelong institution called marriage has always witnessed men proposing to ladies; but the latest trend in the society is moving away from the age-long tradition as women are taking the bull by the horns to propose to their male partners. This might not seem strange to many although it goes against the convention backed by religious practice in this part of the world that a man would leave his parents to cleave to a woman and they shall become one. Proposing marriage is an open request from the men to women, it ordinarily involves the man begging for an affirmation or negation as to a new lease of life together. However, with the recent trend of women proposing marriage, would you as a lady propose marriage to a guy?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our expert have to say on the issue:
I will not try such but if he refuses to propose then I can give signs that I want to be proposed to.
I won’t. He is my fiancé and I believe he will propose at some point. If he doesn’t, it might be because he doesn’t want me or something. So, I will rather wait for him to propose.
I can’t make such move. I can only do that if I am a foreigner.
Never. I like ring but that does not mean I’ve to propose to a man to get one. Believe me, and I love myself too much to do that.
Yes, I can. If the feelings are mutual and obvious and I realised that if I don’t get married to him, I would be a loser at the end. It doesn’t matter who proposes. As far as there’s love, trust and understanding, we’re good to go.
I will do it but only because I want to. Humanly speaking, I always do whatever I want to do without much regards to societal norms.
I don’t think I would, Well, I believe I’m to be chased; sought after and the proposal is part of this process. Proverbs 18:22 ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord”
As a lady I can’t propose to a guy. It’s not ideal for a lady to propose to a guy (in culture) we all know it might go wrong.
Well, I won’t really propose marriage to him directly. What I will do is to ask him if he is ready or willing to marry me. If his response is positive, we go on, if otherwise, then I have to end the relationship.
I won’t like to propose to a guy because the guy will be thinking that I might be feeling that he is not capable enough which will eventually result to me not enjoying my marriage as a result of that.
I won’t. I’m a woman. I’m to be pursued. When I start doing the pursuing, something is wrong. I cannot love my man more than he loves me so I shouldn’t be more eager to marry him by proposing marriage to him.
As Nigerians, our culture doesn’t permit that; and the Bible says, “that the man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife,” not the woman doing such! This means that a woman isn’t supposed to propose to a man. But in a case where a woman does that, it means that she’s so desperate to settle down with the man.
Kemi Akinbobola, a marriage and relationship counsellor is our expert on this issue.
A lady who proposes marriage to a man has lost her self-worth because the man would first call her names when things begin to go sour. Such a lady will never be good for a man who is not ready for commitment. Ladies are precious jewels that should be cherished and sought after, not the other way around. And they should note that a man can never achieve his complete purpose in life without them. Thus, a lady proposing marriage to a guy should be likened to a jewel handed over to a pig, it can never know the value. It is not a crime when a lady asks the question on what next? When the relationship is going forever without a focus. Also, not to forget that marriage is a two-way thing, the lady and the guy. A guy who fails to propose is not ready due to some reasons best known to him. And as such, communication would go a long way to put an end to unending questions begging for answers. When a lady proposes, she has put such a guy in a tight and unpleasant corner and would feel forced to accept something he is not prepared for especially if he is a ‘nice guy’ and does not want to turn her down. Marriage is a grounded institution with processes that should be followed to the letter. A miss in those processes could cause a life-long pain and regret. In my view, the dog should always go after the bone and never the bone after the dog.
Next week on Whatsapp Conversation: Would you marry a spouse with different religion?
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