We all are products of relationships; it is the reason we value relationships and esteem it highly. Sometimes, these relationships clash with each other. This week on WhatsApp Conversation, we examine one of such cases under the headline ‘would you allow your partner have a best friend of the opposite gender?’ Here are the replies we got:
No, I’d never allow my spouse to have a best friend of the opposite sex. To start with, if I’m not your best friend why are we even in such a relationship?
For your relationship to grow stronger, that friendship with the opposite sex must either be reduced to just friends or better still, terminate it. For it’s just a matter of time before they (one or both of them) cross a line; I’m talking about, unhealthy feelings which eventually lead to aggressive fornication and even if that didn’t happen which I seriously doubt, that much attention and time you give to a supposed best friend of the opposite sex puts your spouse in an awkward position. Don’t do it, it will end in hot tears.
If he already has one before we met I would want to be her friend too. Although I don’t really have issues with anyone he makes friend with, it however becomes a problem if she is a negative influence. Well, I won’t start a relationship with anyone who doesn’t have sense.
I will let him see reasons why he shouldn’t because if we should consider the word ‘allow’ it’s like forcing my opinion on him and if he decides to accept my opinion it might not last. Hence, we need to come to an agreement on why we shouldn’t, because I can’t be keeping an opposite gender as a close friend and tell him he can’t. That’s witchcraft It must be a mutual agreement. Whatever friendship he needs that cannot be found in his male friends, myself, his mother, his sister(s) and worst-case scenario, his cousins, is no friendship at all. That simply shows the kind of person he is.
First of all, I don’t believe in the concept of best friend. Secondly, I believe your significant other should be your best friend because I’ve been in the position of best friend, I’ve known best friends. So if she has a male best friend, I won’t be cool with it and I will disagree with it.
Personally, I don’t even believe in the idea of a best friend. I do have a couple of close friends but having a best friend is not on my friendship scale. I don’t think I would allow such. But then, there are some relationships that have been existing long before you met your partner, so you really can’t just ask people to snip their personal ties because you’re with them. So, in such a situation, I might compromise but with a stern warning that she must be closer to me than she is to him and would need to cut down on all the relationship. Even with these, I’ll still be policing them.
A relationship is meant to be based on trust, right? I trust my lady so, no worries about her friends. But if I feel uncomfortable with a certain friend I would as well speak up. In my opinion, I am not against it really. But would speak up if I am not comfortable with anything.
The answer is no. My better half shouldn’t have another better half. A best friend could become a best love and this is dangerous. Think of who you call a best friend especially when it’s of the opposite gender. Who knows the heart of the best friend?
This opposite Sex bestie issue started with this generation. The truth is that people can cheat while hiding under the bestie tag. If you are with a partner that his/her self-discipline is over the top, then it’s okay because in the end, it takes self-discipline and the fear of God not to cheat. In all, it is not advisable.
My better half cannot have a female bestie because his attention will be divided. I know how ladies can be and if they have been besties before I came into the picture, even if I know he will lie about it, I’d still ask him if he has had any sexual relationship with his bestie his reaction will give me my answer. Your woman should be your bestie.
For me, I wouldn’t have an issue with that so long my partner knows he has boundaries he can’t overstep. I’ve seen people whose best friend are of the opposite sex and purely no sexual feelings attached. They just need to know they have limits in order to respect their individual partner’s feelings. Especially when they’re going through relationships issues before they’ll turn to their besties for a shoulder to cry on.
Sure, I can allow that as long as I’m sure that there are no romantic attachments or history between them. At the end of the day, everyone has friends of the opposite sex. He could still cheat with anyone if he decides to, not just the bestie. So as long as I’m sure he has integrity, I have no problem at all.
Next week on WhatsApp conversation, we will be exploring the question ‘Would you agree to marry someone who earns lesser than you do?’ Join the conversation, send a message to 08136601345.
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