one marital activity is sex. It is one of the major reasons always being canvassed for getting married. Why should sex be a reason for getting married? Sex is a universally acknowledged need of human beings; both males and females are naturally endowed with sexual need. Like every other human need, failure to meet it leaves a vacuum in the life of people. So, marriage gives people the opportunity to adequately, safely, and regularly meet the sexual need in human beings. Sex outside marriage may engender conflicts among people because it becomes a free for all, without anyone having legal or societal right over others. A man or a woman unmarried is a no man’s land, that anyone can have free sexual access to, once there is mutual consent.
It is therefore important to ensure that the sexual need is met by each couple. Anything contrary creates a vacuum in the life of each partner, for which avenue for meeting it will have to be sought. Otherwise, such a victim of failure of meeting that need, will suffer in silence. That is why extra marital affairs and divorce rates are growing with leaps and bound. These two have become a way of escape for many married partners; for the ‘I cannot come and die’ partners, extramarital affairs is the way out; while for the faithful ones, divorce is the answer to their need. So, head or tail, sexual need of couples must be met.
Sexual need was misunderstood for a long time in our society to mean the ‘rise and sink’ stuff. That is, man being able to access the female organ of his wife. What a misadventure! This is sexual or over the bar shot. Sexual need in humans is far beyond that ‘rise and sink’ stuff. This does not guarantee that the sexual need is being met. Rather, it heightens the desire for the sexual need to be met, especially for women. Sexual fulfillment is the only guarantee for meeting the sexual need in humans. That sexual fulfillment is what brings satisfaction to humans. Just like eating any food that one gets does not necessarily brings satisfaction, so also is the case with sexual need. In today’s Nigeria, a lot of people are not satisfied, though they eat. Why? They eat what they get and affordable, not what they love to eat , or gives them satisfaction. That is the case of lack of sexual fulfillment.
When couples have sex without satisfaction: regularly, the way it is desired, it makes the sexual need unfulfilled. Unfortunately, sexual fulfillment is not inborn, but learnable and teachable. You will have to discover what to do to fulfill your spouse. All the conflicts being experienced by couples are majorly traceable to failure to meet the sexual need in the marriage. It sets partners on the edge, become so touchy, irritable and difficult to live with one another.
Do you now have a picture of why couples must work assiduously towards being sexually fulfilled in the marriage? The benefits are enormous and bring lasting peace to the marriage. So, let us go all out to meet the sexual need of the humans for which marriage is being consummated. How to achieve this will be our focus in subsequent editions of this column.
My book, ENJOYING GREAT SEX LIFE, is a worthy manual for sexual fulfillment in marriage. You can call 08112658560 for details.