Love, family and financial security are major criteria one should consider before taking a leap into marriage. The later, however, is now a major priority. Many use it as a yardstick to accepting marriage proposals. The belief that: ‘What you earn determines how you spend’ seems to have superseded love. Traditionally, the man in a marriage is the ‘provider’ while the wife is the manager of the house. This suggests a balance. But, career wise, many women are topping the list of earners, even taking the jobs of the breadwinner of the house. Putting aside the traditional or cultural bias of men being the breadwinner of the family, who should earn more—the wife or the husband?
On WhatsApp Conversation, these are what those who joined the conversation and our experts said on the issue:-
It is all about mutual understanding. The money is for the need of the family. It does not matter who brings in the money. But as humans, both of them need to work and contribute to the upkeep of the family. If the issue of who should earn more becomes a problem in the family, it might be to show power or to exercise superior influence based on one’s contribution to the family, and it’s very healthy.
Whoever earns more is the blessing of God. The couple should not oppress each other. The wife, especially, should be submissive to the husband as the Lord commends.
I feel the man should earn more than the wife since it is the biblical injunction of wives submitting to their husbands. The truth is: Where would she find the submission to the husband when she takes care of almost all the responsibilities in the marriage. We are humans, and times are bound to pass by when the wife would say this to the husband’s face when provoked and probably reconcile later though.
Well, if God chooses to bless the wife more, then the man is expected to accept his fate and to be more diligent with his job. However, do not leave responsibilities to the woman. He should be more patient and prayerful. He should support his wife against pride and arrogance.
The husband is the head of the family according to the Holy Bible. So, husbands need to earn more than their wives.
In this our part of the country? Definitely, husbands deserve to earn more.
The African mentality would prefer the husband to earn more, because he is the head of the family. Feminists would prefer the wife for the sake of ‘no superiority’. But first, does it matter who earns more? What if the husband earns more and could not handle finances better than his wife. Both the husband and the wife should work and support and healthily challenge but not to compete with each other to earn the best. Who earns more does not matter. How much we earn as partners or parents is what matters. And, how we utilise what we earn matters.
It really does not matter as long as they are both earning well to take care of the family. It should not be an issue. Any man that is intimated by his wife because she earns more has serious ego issue. He needs to work on it. And any woman that feels her husband earns more needs to work on herself. As long as they both contribute to running the home, I honestly do not see why who earns more should be a question.
It does not matter. But from African view of things, in marriage, the husband should be the highest earner. However, in reality, the highest earner does not mean but highest provider should be considered. You could earn high and provide less.
Actually, anyone can!. What I strongly believe in is that relationship should be an interdependent state and not independence or dependence state. So far they depend on one another, they would not be questioning who earns more or who is supposed to earn more.
The vogue now is not who earns more. If it is the husband that earns more, he should pick up the highest bill. If it is the wife, she should do the same. If my spouse is a good man, nothing stops me from assisting him so far he is using or spending the money at home. Men could be funny sometimes. They could leave the responsibility for the women. But, I would be comfortable with my husband earning more.
Bamidele Segun is our expert on the issue. He said anybody could earn more as far as there are these three vital things I the marriage: Understanding, responsibility and love. Understanding would help you know that money has its own natural spirit (we Africans believe so.) Therefore, there would be an exhibition of pride or ego as you begin to read unnecessary meaning to everything your partner does. Responsibility entails that if you earn more you should pay more It is the law of nature, same way that when your money grows your bills grows as well. So if you earn more, take up more responsibilities. Love could not be over emphasised in a marriage. They say love conquers everything. If you love your spouse, you would not disrespect him/her because of money.
Next week on WhatsApp Conversation, we would be treating: Should a woman submit her salary to her husband?
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