What is the appropriate age to begin s*x education for children?

With the increase in reports of sexual abuse of minors, there is the constant dilemma about the appropriate age to begin sex education, as well as the first port of call on the subject. TAYO GESINDE shares the responses of women on who should do the needful, and the best age to start educating children about sex.

Honourable Motunrayo Adeleye Oladapo

Parents are in the best position to give sex education to their children. They know their children well and the connection between them and their teachers, compared to that of the parents is different. When a teacher handles sex education, they may be scared to ask questions beyond what is taught in the classroom, but parents have a way of making their children feel comfortable. Remember they change teachers sometimes and they might get different approaches to the subject. I think parents are in the best position to give sex education to their children.

Dr Tina Osezua

I think it primarily the parents should build the critical foundation of sex education for their children, based on the fact they are key agents of socialisation. However, teachers should play complementary roles, because education is continuous and collaborative.

Mrs Florence Oluremi Ojengbede

Parents (particularly the mother) are a child’s first point of contact in life. All the child’s needs are provided for by the parents, especially the mother, with the support of the father. It therefore stands to reason that both parents, particularly the mother, should put their children through in the area of sex education.

Sometimes, as parents, we don’t have to wait for those questions to be asked. As soon as we see opportunities presenting themselves and as soon as our children can understand, we let them know their body parts by the actual names and functions. A child’s curiosity can manifest strongly in that regard as early as between the ages of three and four. If it does, you introduce sex education then. When children reach school age and before they are in mainstream education system, parents should have educated them on how to say no and walk away from sexual harassment and intimidation which often can lead to sexual abuse.

Let them know that their private parts are private, should be covered and not be touched, looked into or shared by anybody. Not even handled by mummy, daddy, uncles, aunties or other people. You tell them how and why their bodies are wired the way they are, why and how they are maturing and the dangers inherent in the physical, physiological and psychological changes going on in their bodies and lives.

By their teenage years, sex education can now be more thorough and explicit. This is when the fathers can talk to the male children and mothers take on the female children. Children of school age should also be warned about being alone or sitting on the laps of school teachers or people of the opposite sex. Any untoward attention, behaviour and touching should be reported to parents immediately, regardless of oath of secrecy, silence or such other threats. Abuse does happen everywhere, every day, every time by people who have contact with us, especially those who should protect us.

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Mrs Patricia Divine

Parents should be responsible for sex education for children. They are more sensitive to the children’s emotions and understand them more. These discussions have been proven to strengthen important ties between parents and children. How sex education is taught, and by whom, matters a lot in the life of a child. Therefore, despite the controversial nature of the topic, parents should consider it relevant and important.

However, many parents struggle to approach the subject with their children. The role of the school and teachers help to raise the confidence and skills of parents in handling sex and relationships as they grow up. There is a fear that talking about sex education can encourage a child to begin to experiment with sex early or when they are of age.

I believe it should be a collaborative approach by the parents and the schools or teachers. Sex education is essential to help young people develop awareness and understanding of the ethical intimate relationships and its implications. It should be introduced early, not when they discover themselves and begin to ask questions. Children and young people have diverse identities with different family backgrounds. Many young people these days rely on the internet and social media for information. So, parents should not be disturbed or conditioned to discuss the matter outright. For schools, the curriculum should have a considerably comprehensive approach to provide a general reflection on the topic, especially its implications.

The bottom line is to communicate this rightly so they understand the approach, concerns, deal with anxieties, assume responsibilities and are able to communicate their knowledge of sex education to the children.