There is a growing trend now in marriage: husbands discovering that some, or most or all of their children are products of extra marital affairs. Through infidelity, the wives conceived and gave birth to children, hiding the paternity of these children from their husbands. The usual trend in marriage used to be the other way round: husbands having children outside the marriage. But the tide is changing, and fast too.
In most cases, such victim husbands only get to discover after many years of raising such children as the biological fathers. Whatever led to such discovery is really immaterial. The truth is that at the point of discovery, it is always a case of “the chicken had come home to roost.” The cat being let out of the bag, there is no place to hide anymore, for the wives.
When this happens, it is always heart -breaking for such husbands, who, over the years had been training the children as their own. Is it the physical and emotional attachment, or financial responsibility that will be considered? The sea of consideration is so wide that, if care is not taking, such husbands can run berserk, and in fact, in some cases, such scenario actually played out. We have had cases where the husbands killed such wives; some killed both the wives and the children; others simply killed every member of the family, including themselves.
With the grave consequences of this evil trend in marriage, I believe no effort should be spared in addressing the situation, in order to eradicate it, or ensure it becomes a rare exception. Efforts to be made therefore should be in the following direction:
- Preventing wives’ infidelity: This is going to be an herculean task. Even if you chain some wives, they will find space for infidelity right on the spot. This is because many factors lead wives into infidelity, and nothing can be done to deal effectively with the factors. The possible thing that is feasible is a reduction to the barest minimum.
- Early stage discovery: I will suggest that it becomes part of our post-natal routine that paternity test is carried out on all babies at birth. This will minimise the damaging effects of discovery on husbands. This will also place a check on wives’ extra marital affairs escapades, knowing full well that discovery is now possible, at an early stage. The emotional acts of violence of husbands when paternity of their children are called to question, or when it is confirmed that these children are fathered by external men, will be minimised.
I strongly believe that addressing the issue of children from infidelity by wives is worth the efforts, in order to prevent lives that are lost on its account.
Also emotional distress of children that might be caught in the crossfire of the situation would have been taken care of.
Wives who cannot afford to stay out of infidelity should always brace up to expose the resultant children rather than waiting for the husbands to discover. At least, it will save the husbands the financial and emotional responsibility of raising such children as their own. The trauma of which can be killing.
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