Striving against the enemy within: Soul (Jihad an-Nafs) II

Taming the evils in the soul is the work of a lifetime, but Islam provides effective tools and strategies. Just as a wild animal can be trained with consistent effort, our nafs (soul) can be restrained and refined. Here are some key steps and practices to help subdue the ego and nurture humility:

Cultivate self-awareness and sincere accountability: Begin by observing your inner reactions. Catch your ego in the act. Do you feel anger when corrected? Do you secretly love being praised? Acknowledge these feelings instead of excusing them. Muraqabah (self-observation) and muḥasabah (self-accounting) are essential. Take time each day to review your intentions and actions. When you notice a fault such as speaking boastfully or looking down on someone, hold yourself accountable before Allah holds you accountable. Admit it: “That was my ego, and it was wrong.” This honest admission is powerful in weakening the ego’s hold. The nafs hates to be blamed; by doing so, you are already humbling it. As Umar ibn al-Khattab advised, “Take account of yourselves before you are taken to account.”

Embrace tawbah (repentance) and humility: Whenever the ego leads you into sin or error, immediately turn back to Allah in repentance. Apologise to those you hurt. Nothing shrinks the ego more than saying “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” It is difficult on the nafs, but that’s exactly why it’s effective; it breaks the ego’s pride. Remember that all good comes from Allah, not from our own greatness. Constantly remind yourself of your dependence on Allah’s mercy. Reflect on your flaws and past mistakes not to feel hopeless, but to stay humble. Our beloved Prophet SAW, the best of creation, used to pray with such humility, acknowledging Allah’s perfection and his own neediness to Allah, despite his sins being forgiven. We, who sin daily, have even more reason to bow our heads. Praise Allah often and seldom praise yourself. Avoid bragging about your achievements or piety – let others discover your good on their own, and let Allah be your advocate. When your heart swells with pride, remember your origin and end: we were created from dust and will return to dust. All that will matter is the purity of our hearts. As the Prophet  SAW said, “Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but He looks at your hearts and deeds.” Realize that any talent or beauty you possess is a test – will you attribute it to Allah or yourself? Fight the urge to feel superior. Humility is the sword that slays the ego.

Discipline your desires through worship and fasting: The ego grows stronger when indulged, so starve it of its favorite meals. One of the best training grounds is fasting. When you fast, you deny the nafs (Soul) its basic wants (food, drink, intimacy) for hours purely for Allah’s sake. This teaches the ego that it is not in charge, Allah SWT is. The hunger pangs and thirst weaken the ego’s grip on your will, making it malleable to better habits. The Prophet SAW said, “Fasting is a shield.” It shields us from the ego’s assaults by reducing its power. Likewise, regular prayer (ṣalāh) trains the ego in submission – you literally put your highest part, your face, on the ground in sujūd, acknowledging Allah’s SWT greatness and your servitude. In prayer, you cannot be puffed up with pride; it’s an antidote to arrogance. Qur’an recitation, dhikr (remembrance of Allah), and du’a all soften the heart and remind the ego of its true place. Make worship consistent, not just during Ramadan or when you feel like it. The nafs (Soul) must learn that you will obey Allah SWT even when it’s inconvenient. Charity is another blow to the ego – giving away what you love for the sake of Allah SWT. It cuts at greed and teaches selflessness. The more you discipline yourself in halal ways (waking up for Fajr, giving up some comforts, pushing yourself to do extra good deeds), the more the ego learns to submit. Over time, the commanding voice of the nafs(SWT) grows quieter, and the soul becomes lighter and freer.

Control anger and restrain the tongue: Anger is a huge gateway for ego. When angry, the ego feels untouchable and justifies ugly behavior. The Prophet SAW said, “The strong person is not the one who can overpower others in wrestling; rather, the strong one is he who controls himself when he gets angry.” (Hadith – Bukhari) Make it a practice, when you feel anger surging, to pause, seek refuge in Allah from Shayṭān, and breathe. If standing, sit down; if sitting, lie down. Remember that reacting in rage almost always feeds arrogance (“How dare they! I’ll show them!” – that’s ego talking). By controlling your anger, you deny the ego a win. Similarly, guard your tongue. The ego loves to speak – often to boast or to demean others. Force yourself to hold back from retaliating in an argument or from spreading gossip. Silence can subdue the ego, because the nafs wants the last word. Train yourself to sometimes let the other person have the last word. It’s difficult, it might sting your pride, but it builds your spiritual strength. Imām al-Ghazali compared the ego to a furious enemy within a fortress (your heart) – the tongue and anger are like gates it tries to burst through. Bolster those gates and don’t give the enemy an opening.

Seek knowledge and remember the Hereafter: Often, ego stems from ignorance; we think too highly of ourselves because we don’t recognise our true lowliness before Allah. Islamic knowledge is a cure: it enlightens you to the virtues of humility and the dangers of pride. Study the lives of the Prophet SAW and his companions: how they mastered their egos. For example, despite being promised Paradise, the Caliphs Abu Bakr and Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) were paragons of humility, fearing their nafs and crying in prayer. When you learn how the best generations were hardest on their own egos, it inspires you to do the same.

Additionally, keep the end in mind: death and the Day of Judgment. Nothing shatters arrogance like the thought of standing helpless before Allah. Remind yourself that the grave will hold your body regardless of how important you think you are today. On that Day, our titles, looks, and wealth will mean nothing; only a pure heart will benefit us. Allah says that on Judgment Day, “neither wealth nor children will benefit, except one who comes to Allah with a sound heart.” Let the inevitability of death humble you; any status you have now is temporary. The soul hates to consider its mortality; reflecting on it often will keep you grounded and focused on what matters. Visit the graves or think of loved ones who passed on; they have returned to Allah SWT, and so will you. When the soul boasts, the visitation to grave reminds the soul that soon it will be nothing but dust if not for Allah’s SWT mercy.

Surround yourself with the humble and accept criticism: Our environment deeply affects our soul. If you keep company with people who constantly chase dunya (world affairs) and brag about themselves, you’ll incline to do the same. But if you befriend those who are humble, spiritually-minded, and honest with you, your ego will have fewer triggers. Good friends will check you when you slip. Make a habit of seeking advice and feedback from people of knowledge and wisdom. When someone points out your fault, do not immediately defend yourself. Fight the initial sting of ego and consider the advice seriously – even if it’s from someone younger or less knowledgeable. Truth can come from anyone. Perhaps Allah SWT sent you that correction as a gift. As one sage said, “Whoever points out your faults is your friend; whoever praises you in excess is your enemy.” Take constructive criticism as an opportunity to improve, not an insult. Even if the critique is delivered harshly, extract the truth from it and ignore the harshness. This doesn’t mean accepting abuse from others; it means learning from any situation that wounds your ego. Over time, you’ll find that you don’t get as defensive anymore – you can admit mistakes more easily and even laugh at yourself. That is a sign of ego diminishing and the soul growing secure. Finally, make dua for humility. The Prophet SAW would often pray, “O Allah, make me humble and live and die among the humble.” Ask Allah to purify your heart of pride and to help you see your ego’s tricks. With Allah’s help, even the fiercest enemy within can be defeated.